


Time's Our Enemy

by unnoticedkohai



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, and vise versa, canada is a lil cinnamon roll who just wants a friend, canada lights up his world, lowkey america/japan, lowkey england/france involved, lowkey seychelles/monaco, prussia is a little lonely birb who wants love, prussia is kinda depressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6887569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unnoticedkohai/pseuds/unnoticedkohai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prussia and Canada meet at a World Meeting but unexpectedly get along. With Prussia's conflict, however, it complicates things and makes it unsure whether or not they will be able to confess before time is out. Even if they do, who's to say they'll be able to spend time together when time itself is against them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a PruCan fanfiction, which will be exactly 20 chapters (a challenge from a friend). There are some other side, minor pairings hinted towards. I hope you enjoy! I refer to countries here by their human names or countries depending on their relationship, by the way.
> 
> If you have any ideas at all or want something to be included in the story, please let me know.

"I'm the hero, so you should all just agree with me on the fact that we should just declare war on-" Alfred was interrupted by various other countries at once, Arthur telling him violence isn't always the answer, Ivan suggesting just killing whatever or whoever was bothering anyone, etc.

"Obviously everyone'll just cower in fear before the awesome me!" Gilbert yelled, laughing arrogantly.

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, "I don't think you realize how horribly obnoxious you are all being." Everything was a mess – most of everyone was expressing their feelings on the subject obnoxiously.

"How about we all just get past –" Feliciano was interrupted when he was hit on the side of his head by a hysterical country, who immediately cowered away at Ludwig's glare.

"Feliciano, are you alright?" Ludwig asked his close friend.

Gilbert stiffened for a moment, just watching the two and their closeness. He always teased Ludwig on how overprotective he was for Feliciano, and almost always Ludwig would blush and curse at him. In reality, however, he was _jealous_ ; jealous and envious that his younger brother had someone to care so much for, someone who would stay at his side to his dying breath.

It was true that he was acquainted with Antonio and Francis, yes, and used to be extremely close with Elizabeta, who sat beside Roderich blushing. However, that didn't change the fact that Antonio and Francis were just acquaintances, and would declare war on each other nevertheless. It also didn't change the fact that Elizabeta was taken from right under his nose by Roderich.

He suddenly felt anger overcome him; _how could she just let him take over her like that? She's an idiot. I don't need her._ He thought to himself, tearing his eyes away from his old friend. He was so lost in thought that the sight of countries arguing, chairs thrown about recklessly, and the inability to make out what anyone was saying didn't faze him or catch his attention. Gilbert heard the door open slightly, and a panting and sweating Matthew appeared at the door, huffing and puffing. He was certainly a couple of half hours late, but no one really noticed. Gilbert had realized there was someone missing, but he didn't bother to bring it up because then it'd make him seem too organized or something.

All of the chairs were thrown about everywhere, and Matthew looked conflicted on where he should sit, hugging his polar bear tighter than usual. No one was paying attention, so Gilbert decided he would help the frail-looking Canadian country and grabbed a chair for him, placing it a few inches from his chair. He caught eye contact, and gestured to the chair next to him. Antonio was originally sitting to his left, but at the moment he was off trying to break off Lovino from biting someone's head off. And Ludwig was to his right, conflicted and struggling to keep everyone in check.

Matthew was shocked at the kind action; _Why is he...?_ He thought. He quietly walked over to the chair, sitting in it awkwardly and muttering a "Thank you" to Gilbert.

He looked up at him and felt the need to say, "No, I'm not America…"

Gilbert's grin faltered, and he replied a bit angrily with, "I wouldn't get a chair for that loser," He said, glancing at Alfred who was obnoxiously slurping his drink and arguing with Arthur.

Then he realized he had just called Matthew's brother a loser, and that certainly wasn't a good way to start a friendship; but Matthew laughed at hearing his brother called a loser, muttering something about how he should be the one called a loser but brushed it off when Gilbert asked about what he had said. Gilbert realized just how much Matthew looked like Alfred, sighing and noting how much the poor country must have been harassed.

"Why aren't you… um…" Matthew trailed off, realizing how awkward his question was.

Gilbert quirked an eyebrow, asking, "Why isn't the awesome me what?"

Mathew shook his head, "Nevermind."

Gilbert furrowed his brow, "Is someone daring to defy the awesome Prussia?" He said playfully, only teasing the boy.

However, Matthew visibly stiffened, and quickly stammered, "N-No…" Gilbert laughed and repeatedly patted his back, causing him to tense, to his dismay.

"I was kidding," Gilbert said. He then asked, "Are you wondering why I'm not being obnoxious like everyone else?" He drank some of the beer he brought while awaiting Matthew's answer. When he didn't answer, he continued, "Why, do you want me to be? Does it make me more awesome?" Gilbert asked, continuing to tease him. Matthew didn't really know what to say, and all he wanted to do was just go home already.

_Why is he talking to me?_ He thought gloomily. Talking to him would only bring attention towards him, and he certainly didn't want anyone to actually notice him. No, that was a _lie_. Matthew kept quiet for the rest of the conversation, not wanting to embarrass himself by saying something stupid; but Gilbert didn't seem to care. He continued to babble on and on.

"Listen! We are not getting _anything_ done this way any time soon! This is a complete waste of my time! So let's all settle down and get organized, ja?" Ludwig said sternly, interrupting everyone's arguments.

"...And that's why you should hang out with the aweso-" Gilbert stopped talking when he realized everyone was quiet, and honestly he was very embarrassed, but nevertheless he laughed and said, "What, is everyone that interested in the awesome me?"

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose, and said, "…and we certainly are _not_ having secondary basic conversation with one another. This is a _meeting_ , for God's sake." He said, directed towards his brother. He raised an eyebrow at him when he saw that he was talking with the unnoticed, outspoken country, Canada, but he continued the meeting nevertheless.

During the meeting that would stay organized for another five minutes and then get revolted, Matthew mumbled a soft apology to Gilbert. Gilbert heard him, yes, but he wasn't sure what he was apologizing about. To say the least, he found the small country a bit interesting. No, not in the way that he was so small that he thought he could take over him, _no_ , in the way that he thought that becoming acquainted with him would be good; maybe he'd be able to handle him.

A nagging thought crept into Gilbert's mind: _even if he was a tiny, just-born country you wouldn't be able to take over him anymore. Ha, pathetic. That ego of yours is done for, and so are you._ He shook his head a bit obnoxiously, trying to block out those thoughts that had been invading his mind for weeks, perhaps months; he wasn't sure anymore. Matthew noticed, and looked at him a bit worriedly. Gilbert grinned when he saw the Canadian man staring at him, trying to make him forget about his unusual shaking of head earlier by perhaps making him flustered. It worked, as Matthew immediately looked away in embarrassment and said, "N-No, I-I wasn't-" He stopped talking when he realized he was in a civilized meeting at the moment, not an obnoxious one, and because of his stammered loud response to Gilbert everyone turned to look at him.

He felt himself fade away into the air, his soul escaping his body as every country in the room looked in his direction. At least, that's what he wished happened in that embarrassing moment; instead, he blushed heavily and slid far down in his chair while holding his blushing face in his hands.

"What? _Again?_ " Gilbert said, trying to turn the attention to himself instead of the faltering country beside him. "Ahahaha, I guess my awesomeness is contagious, huh?" At hearing his stupid remark, everyone went back to their original meeting and almost instantly forgot about Matthew's incident. Matthew muttered an apology to Gilbert again, hugging his polar bear tighter, his heart hammering in his chest not only because of the embarrassing moment but also because of the fact that someone took a hit for him. He didn't know why, but for some reason his heart had continued to pound for the rest of the meeting, which was a little more than twenty minutes. It was becoming apparent to him that the Prussian made him unusually nervous.

"Man, that was so boring," Gilbert said, stretching his arms and making stretching sounds. He noticed the Canadian country still looked as flustered as he was, maybe even more, as when he had been briefly embarrassed. "Hm? What's up with you? Am I too awesome for ya?" He joked.

Matthew's blush only deepened at hearing this, leaving Gilbert confused and honestly a bit worried. "Uh? Have a fever or somethin'?" Matthew shook his head a bit violently at this sudden question. "N-Nothing, forget it!"

Gilbert raised a questioning eyebrow at this; _What a weird dude…_

"Brother, come on. We are going to go to that bar, right?" Ludwig asks Gilbert, sending a questioning glance at Matthew. Gilbert knew he had agreed to that. They almost always went to a bar together after tiring meetings like this, as brothers, and he knew Ludwig didn't want someone else tagging along. "Yeah, sure, West. Wait for me, yeah?" Ludwig sent him a questioning look, but sighed and nodded. It had been a tiring day. Just as Ludwig was about to walk off, Feliciano jumped and hugged him, not letting go and just clinging onto the German man. "Ludwig, where are you going, ve~ Take me with you~"

Ludwig awkwardly wobbled over outside the room, deducting that Gilbert probably wanted to tell the Canadian something.

Matthew continued to fidget awkwardly, a certain redness on his face. Gilbert's arrogant, cocky expression faded into a bit of a concerned one as most of the countries left the room. "You sure you aren't sick or somethin'?"

Matthew shook his head; all he wanted to do was become invisible to Gilbert again, and leave and go back to his home. Why was he so nervous right now? It's true he hadn't had much interaction with other countries other than his brother, but...

"Alright, how about you come with Antonio, Francis, and I to the bar tomorrow?" Gilbert suggested, not knowing himself that those words were going to come out of his mouth. He had really only begun to talk to Matthew to tease him for the fun of it, but something went wrong.

Matthew stood, shocked, for a good thirty seconds before realizing how long he had stayed silent. Slowly, he nodded, averting his eyes. Gilbert smiled, and laughed, that arrogant expression back on his face, "Alright, I'll come pick you up at ten."

"Ten… in the morning?" Matthew asked, tilting his head in confusion.

Gilbert burst out laughing, patting the unsuspecting country repeatedly on his back as he almost choked on his hysterical laughter, "Good one, man,"

Matthew was hurt; he wasn't joking… Gilbert realized this as Matthew not so much as smiled, "Oh, uh, it's at ten in the evening."

He thought to himself, _Wasn't that obvious..? Hasn't he ever gone to a late gathering at a bar before?_ Gilbert actually smirked to himself, thinking that now he could give the poor unnoticed country a thrill in his life for once.

"That's… pretty late… And I'm not sure I want to go in the first place," Matthew mumbled, letting his hand land on his chin and rub it a bit. He really _did_ want to go somewhere for once, and he wanted to be seen. He didn't want to stand in the corner, invisible, again. Yet when someone talked to him, he always messed it up.

"What? Ya don't like the awesome Prussia?" Gilbert asked, pouting. He suddenly coughed momentarily, trying to muffle it before waiting for Matthew's response. Matthew twirled his hair around, not knowing what to say. Of course, he didn't touch the out of place little twirl of hair that stood out, as that would only cause… _things._

"That's… not it." Matthew muttered. Gilbert obliviously put an arm around his shoulders and said, "Ah, come on! You have to get out once in a while and have fun! Don't be lame. That's like, the opposite of awesome."

Matthew bit his lip, wanting to leave already. His heart still thumped at a fast pace, but he didn't know why. The reason for him not accepting to go to the gathering at the bar was not because he didn't want to be with the Prussian, quite the opposite actually, but if he went he'd only be awkward and out of place.

"Brother, hurry up." Ludwig stated from the doorway, the Italian still clinging close to him. "Feliciano, I'm going somewhere with my brother right now."

Gilbert sighed, but smiled and said, "Well, whatever you decide, I'll still show up at your door tomorrow." He walked over to Ludwig, and they departed off together to the bar.

"What was _that_ about?" His brother asked, curious.

"What? I can't make friends?" Prussia asked. In reality, he kind of wanted to get closer to the Canadian man.

He was… interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Matthew lay in his bed, sighing exasperatedly, staring at the ceiling in his bedroom. Thinking back to his conversation with Gilbert, and how he responded to the bar offer. The words that escaped his throat were nothing but _lies_ ; every fiber in his body wanted to have someone in his life who he could talk to, who was an actual friend. Not even his brother would acknowledge him most of the time. He wanted to listen to Gilbert's voice again, somehow just being around him brightened the mood. _I'm so desperate,_ He thought. _No way I'm going to that bar with him._ He closed the curtains, gazing out at the moon one last time before going to bed, even though it was only nearing ten in the evening. He lied down on his hotel bed even though it was pretty early. He was just a bit tired, ready to fall into a peaceful sleep.

However, it was a different story for Gilbert. Most of his nights were restless and tiring, so he didn't bother to come home at the appropriate time anymore.

_He was standing in the dark. Complete utter darkness, with only the sound of some kind of liquid dripping onto the ground from somewhere. Slowly, the scene in front of him was illuminated. He saw all of the countries, gathered for a world meeting, with one less chair. Prussia was missing._

_A group of crows flew above the scenery, and they chewed on it until it was dark again. Gilbert was bewildered, not knowing what he was seeing. The moon showed up in front of him, making him realize something. It wasn't in front of him. It was above him. He was lying on the floor. His blood was dripping from his mouth onto the floor. He was dying. And soon, the crows attacked him all at once._

_When they cleared away, Gilbert was left lifeless on the floor._

Gilbert woke with a start, sweating with heavy breathing. It was the same dream he'd been having for months, and he wasn't sure why. He hadn't told anyone about it, and with his government, economy, and society falling apart his anxiety had gotten the better of him. These days, he would drink until his brother had to drag him away to block out the pain in his chest that he didn't know where was coming from. Sleep was the worst thing for him, not because he would always awake with a terrible migraine (which he does), but because he'd always have very similar nightmares where he dies. His migraine hit him suddenly, as he had drank again the night before. At this point in everyday is when he'd think of how pathetic and useless he was. He'd think that everyone thought so too, seeing as how they acted as if he was a useless idiot, and his thoughts would drift away and think of how no one would miss him if he really did die like in his dreams, how no one would help him if his government, economy, and society really did topple down.

He would almost begin to weep, but if anyone noticed he'd be done for.

***

Matthew was extremely nervous. He was pacing around his hotel room, his clothes he had brought in his luggage scattered all over the room in his frenzy to find what to wear for the bar meet-up. He knew he had said he wouldn't go, and that he didn't want to, but what if Gilbert _did_ come? He really did want to go..

All of a sudden, he stopped pacing around his room. He bit his lip, and thought, _He was probably just teasing me yesterday, right? What if it was all a joke? He's not going to come._

Matthew sighed, and stayed in the pajamas he had been in all day and just turned off the light and went to bed. He wasn't exactly tired, as he hadn't done anything all day except fret over Gilbert's invitation and why his heart was beating so fast for him, but it was either that or let his thoughts drift away to more dark and emotional ones. After a lot of tossing and turning, he was about to fall into a dreamless sleep until his door was knocked on. His eyes shot open at his silence suddenly being disturbed, and for a moment he was confused about who it could possibly be until he remembered about Gilbert. His heart started beating faster and his hands began to sweat, and he looked at himself in the mirror and saw he already had bed hair, and he was still wearing his pajamas. His room was, of course, still scattered with his clothes that he had thrown around trying to find what to wear. He began to panic, and the knock on his door was heard again. He opened the door slightly, poking his head out and hiding his body behind the door since he was still in his pajamas.

Gilbert stood there, wearing his usual casual clothes and almost flawless hair. He was surprised at Matthew's bed hair and tired eyes that appear only after you've taken a short nap or are woken abruptly from sleep.

"U-Uh... I told you... I don't want to go," Matthew mumbled, averting his eyes.

"Ya were already sleeping?" Gilbert asked, bewildered. "It's only ten." Matthew didn't say anything.

"Aw, come on! Have some fun for once! Come with me to the bar, just once!" Gilbert offered.

Matthew shook his head, "N-No... If that's all, then please lea-"

"The awesome me isn't leaving 'till you say yes!" Gilbert said, laughing. He was joking of course, and to take the joke further he pushed the door open and walked in Matthew's room. He noticed the clothes scattered about the room and the bed a mess.

Matthew stood frozen, thinking that Gilbert would think he was a weird, desperate loser. He ran out the door of his own apartment and into the empty hallway; it was late. He felt his heart thud violently in his chest, and his eyes begin to water. _I always screw everything up, he thought._

Gilbert was confused. He ran after him, and placed a hand on his shoulder after catching up to him. For some reason, Gilbert was completely out of breath even though he had run only a few feet. Usually he'd be able to go a few couple meters before getting out of breath.

"Wh... Why'd you... Run out?" Gilbert asked. "Nice to know I'm not the only disorganized one, haha!"

He laughed, and Matthew sighed a breath of relief. "Yeah, t-that's it... I'm just disorganized..."

Gilbert took hold of Matthew's arm, and said, "Now, let's go!"

Matthew said, "W-Wait!" But there was no use, Gilbert had made up his mind that Matthew would go with him after picking out a random t-shirt and jeans fallen on the floor in his room.

They arrived at the bar a few couple minutes after, in Gilbert's car. The ride was mostly silent, Matthew too nervous to speak and Gilbert dying from the awkwardness.

"Gilbert! Amigo!" Antonio said, embracing his friend.

"You're late." Francis added, laughing.

"Yeah, the awesome me brought awesome Matthew with me," Gilbert explained.

Francis and Antonio exchanged knowing looks that worried Gilbert, but they accepted that Matthew was here nevertheless.

They sat in the stools near the bar, watching others dance with each other in the near dance floor with the music blasting on the speakers that hurt Matthew's ears. Somehow, he was able to easily become acquainted with Antonio, as his easygoing and somewhat kind nature made him easy for him to talk to.

Seeing Matthew talk so easily and happily to Antonio made something in Gilbert's chest ignite. _Why can't I get him to talk to me like that? Has he already been taken from me, like with... with..._

To block out any other thoughts, Gilbert chugged a cup full of beer down. He was so used to drinking, it didn't faze him much.

_It's because you're pathetic,_ He thought, chugging down another cup.

_No one likes you,_ Another.

_You really should just die, after all,_ Another.

_You're-_

"G-Gilbert, isn't that too much?" Matthew asked all of a sudden. "You should stop."

Gilbert stopped the liquid from reaching his lips, and suddenly got pulled back to reality. He was starting to feel dizzy, but he wasn't drunk yet.

"I'll be fine," He said a bit bitterly as he started to drink another cup. Still, the drinks were affecting him somewhat.

Antonio sighed, "There's nothing I've been able to do to get him to stop."

Matthew raised an eyebrow, "It's happened more than once?"

He nodded, his expression sad. "I know we get drunk sometimes just for the heck of it, but he's has been taking it a bit too far lately."

As Gilbert reached for another cup, Matthew grabbed his hand and halted him. The sudden contact startled Gilbert.

_"I told you to stop it."_ Matthew said sternly. _"Please."_

"I told you _no_!" Gilbert said, the drinks making him raise his voice. He was somewhat aware of what he was doing, but he was allowing the drinks to take over him.

Mathew flinched at the raising of his voice, but shook his head nevertheless. "We're leaving."

He took hold of his arm and started to walk out of the bar, Gilbert protesting and cursing at him since the drinks were getting the better of him. He dragged him in the car, but sat in the driver's seat instead. He reached into Gilbert's pocket and fetched the keys, starting the car.

"Why do you even _care_?" Gilbert said bitterly, letting the drinks cloud his judgment. "I should have never invited you. You're just ruining everything, like always."

Matthew was hurt, but tried not to let himself waver. _He's just drunk, that's the only reason he's saying that, He thought, trying to reassure himself._

"Prussia, this is for your own good." Matthew said. "Don't you know how much you're hurting your body _and_ your friends by being an alcoholic?"

The drinks were affecting Gilbert's temper, "I'm _not_ an alcoholic! It's just- I use drinks to-"

Matthew raised a questioning eyebrow, waiting for Gilbert to continue. However, even with the drinks fogging his mind he was extremely reluctant in letting that certain thought out.

Matthew sighed, and said, "It doesn't matter the reason. You shouldn't do that to yourself."

"Well, you shouldn't keep yourself from being social or going to places." Gilbert replied.

"What if I turn out like you?" Matthew said, immediately regretting his reply.

Gilbert considerably tensed. "Like _me?_ Are you saying I'm repulsive?"

Matthew was surprised, "No! I didn't say-"

"That's what everyone thinks! I should just-"

Matthew places a hand on his cheek, "Gilbert. Stop it. I don't think ill of you. You're a great person."

Gilbert scoffed, grabbing Matthew's collar and bringing his face close, "I can do as I please. If I want to get drunk, I will."

Matthew grew more worried by the second, "Gilbert, don't say things like that!"

"If I want to say something like that, I will." He continued. "If I want to kiss you, _I will._ "

He leaned in close to Matthew. Matthew's heart was beating faster and thudding violently in his chest, and he began turning red up his neck, face, and ears. However, he pushed Gilbert's face away and started to drive. His eyes were beginning to water.

"What the hell, Matthew?" Gilbert asked, slumping into his seat.

"You're drunk. That's the only reason you're doing this." Matthew said, his voice wavering.

"I'm _not_ drunk!" Gilbert claimed.

"Yes, you _are_!" Matthew yelled, raising his voice. "I don't want anything from you if you don't mean it!"

"Matthew..." Prussia muttered, his voice softening. The rest of the car ride was silent, until Matthew realized something.

"Which hotel are you checked in?" Matthew asked.

"I'm fine going to your hotel with you~" Gilbert cooed, winking at Matthew, the drinks taking over his senses somewhat.

Matthew's cheeks reddened, and he said, "N-No. Now tell me where your hotel is,"

Gilbert continued teasing him, "But why~ It's more fun when we're together~"

"Gilbert-" Matthew was interrupted when he felt Gilbert's head on his shoulder, with soft breathing. He had fallen asleep because of the drinks. Matthew sighed, but somehow a smile formed on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Matthew sang along to the song on the radio, subconsciously stroking Gilbert's hair with his free hand and singing the song to him.

When they arrived at the hotel Matthew was staying in, he had to carry him over his shoulder with much difficulty. At his room, he set him down on his bed and pulled the covers over him. He changed into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and tried to get comfortable on the small couch.

"Ngh... Matthew..." Gilbert mumbled, his voice husky from sleep. "Come here with me..."

Matthew's eyes shot open in surprise, but he rubbed his temples and decided that Gilbert was having some weird dream. That was, until he felt someone tug at his sleeve and drag him onto the bed.

His cheeks instantly heated up, as Gilbert wrapped his arms around the Canadian, still drunk.

_He's going to be so embarrassed when he's sober and realizes he's done this,_ Matthew thought sadly. But somehow, he fell asleep instantly in Gilbert's arms, in a sleep filled with dreams.

***

"Please, don't... No," Gilbert murmured softly in his sleep. "I don't want…"

He wrapped his arms tighter around the Canadian. " _I don't want to go_!"

Gilbert shot up from the bed, sweating and panting like how he always awoke after a nightmare. Matthew immediately woke up as well, as he was a light sleeper somewhat.

He looked over at Gilbert, and saw water starting to form in his eyes. "Gilbert! Gilbert, are you alright?"

Gilbert, still fogged by his nightmare, pushed him away a bit harshly, causing him to fall off the small bed, "Stop it! Stop hurting me!"

Matthew winced, and Gilbert came back to his senses. He saw what he'd done to Matthew in the darkness, and murmured, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." He stood up, grabbed his keys, and went to the door, grabbing the door knob and about to turn it to leave until Matthew grabbed his hand.

"Gilbert, are you okay?" Matthew asked softly, rubbing his eyes from tiredness as it was almost three in the morning.

"Yeah. Fine." Gilbert murmured.

Matthew didn't let go of his hand, "Tell me the truth."

Gilbert sighed and shook his head, "You don't need to worry."

"Is this why you're always drinking?" Matthew asked, his voice seeping with worry.

"You don't need to know." Gilbert replied.

"Yes, I do. I care about you, Gilbert," Matthew answered. "You should have sought help. Drinking is never an option."

Gilbert scoffed, "Does it even make a difference? When I'm sober, I feel pain."

"Gilbert..." Matthew said, not knowing what to say. He barely knew the man, but nevertheless he couldn't help but be worried. Gilbert pushed his wrist out of Matthew's hold a bit harshly, and turned the door knob to leave the room before walking down the empty, dark hallway.

"Gilbert, wait!" Matthew yelled, watching him disappear down the stairs. He sighed, and went to lay down in his bed. Matthew's scent was still present, and he couldn't help but think about him.

He barely knew anything about the Prussian before this. All he knew was that he admired how he was always expressing himself and saying everything in a straightforward manner. He admired how, though his ego was seemingly too high, he didn't let other people walk over him. Matthew was somewhat worried about him, and decided that no matter how much it felt like his heart would jump out of his chest, he'd gradually talk to him.

Matthew sighed, and looked at the clock beside his bed. It read 4:19 A.M. He tried to go back to sleep, but the Prussian continued to come into his mind. He continued tossing and turning, until he heard a loud knocking on his door that shot him straight up from his bed. He felt so tired and exhausted from lack of sleep, and by looking at the clock he saw it was nearing noon. He sighed once more, and wondered if he'd gotten any real sleep.

The loud knocking continued, and he got up and faltered on his steps, before opening the door. "Mattie? You okay, bro? Ya look tired."

"Alfred?" Matthew asked, suddenly being brought back to reality. He shook his head, rubbing his eyes a bit and about to push up his glasses until he realized he hadn't put them on. "Yeah. I went to sleep a bit late last night."

It was a half lie, but not entirely. "Why're you up so early, Alfred?"

Alfred sent a surprised look at his brother, and said quickly, "Ya don't remember? Dude! Today's the party!"

"What party?" Matthew asked.

"Weren't you invited by Mathias?" Alfred asked, surprised once more.

"... I guess I wasn't invited." Matthew said slowly, the fact making him feel a bit down. Going unnoticed and ignored he was used to, but it still hurt him.

"Wait! Uh," Alfred reached into his pocket, all while slurping his coke. Rummaging noises of paper and who knows what else were heard, and finally he reached out a crumpled up envelope, handing it to Matthew. "I forgot! He told me to give this to you."

Matthew took the envelope, and barely readable was the words "To: America's Brother". He sighed, feeling even worse but trying to just put it aside.

"Why would you think I'd go? Shouldn't you be with Arthur or something?" Matthew asked. America's cheery expression quickly faded as it was replaced with a frown.

"No way I'm talking to that guy!" He said a bit bitterly.

"So you guys had a silly argument! And you came here thinking I'd be a rebound so that you won't be alone." Matthew said bluntly, looking angry at his brother.

"It wasn't silly! He seriously-" Alfred was about to go on and on about how much of a jerk the British man had been to him, but Matthew tried to close the door so Alfred grabbed it before it closed. "You're _not_ my rebound, bro!"

"Bye, Alfred." Matthew said, proceeding to close the door. He was always complaining to himself how much of a jerk Alfred was to him, but when Alfred tried to be with him and help him out he would just push him away.

"Mattie! Come on, don't be that way." Alfred yelled from the other side of the door. "There's a reason I came over here. More than just telling you about the party."

Matthew sighed, but slowly opened his door fully to let the American inside.

"What is it?" He asked, rubbing his eyes from sleep and reaching for his glasses, putting them on.

Alfred sighed, "It's... It's Arthur. He's been a real pain in the ass, dude."

Matthew raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

"I try to ask him to come with me for lunch or something, and he always rejects me. Every time." Alfred said, sighing.

"Alfred, maybe you have to consider that he isn't very fond of the food or diners you go to." Matthew said.

"Yeah, but I just want to give him some quality food, you know! Those scorns of his are really awful..." Alfred said under his breath.

"Look, Alfred, if you like him, you'll suck it up and eat his scorns and drink his tea with him. He will eventually do the same for you if he likes you." Matthew said at last, the lack of sleep making this conversation make him even more tired.

"What?! I never said I liked him!" Alfred protested, pouting and crossing his arms.

"Right, well, I'll just tell you this now... He might not like you that way, Alfred. You'll have to accept that if that's the case, and move on." Matthew said sternly. "Now, was that all?"

Alfred sighed, "Well, please come to this party, Mattie. Just stick around with me for a while."

"What? Why don't you go hang around Francis if you want to make him jealous? Or even Kiku, I'm sure he won't mind your company too much." Matthew suggested, immediately regretting giving his brother ideas. "Alfred, making him jealous isn't the right way to go about things."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Alfred said, slurping his coke. "Well, see ya later, bro!"

Matthew sighed; the only reason Alfred wanted him to go to the party was to make Arthur jealous, and now that he gave him the France and Japan idea he figured Alfred didn't care anymore. It was a bad idea in the first place.

The mere idea of going to a party was terrible to Matthew, yet he still found himself asking a certain question. "Um.. Brother... What other... Countries are going? Is it just Axis Powers and the Allies?"

He was trying not to directly ask him if Gilbert was going, because if he straight out asked him "Is Gilbert going?", then Alfred would think Matthew liked him and tease him.

Alfred, being oblivious as he was, didn't notice anything. "Uh, no, as far as I know all of the countries were invited."

Matthew nodded. Alfred continued, "Why'd you ask?"

"N... No reason. Just curious." Matthew said.

"So, are ya coming then?" Alfred asked.

"I... I'll think about it." Matthew murmured, gesturing to the door. "And, uh. Alfred... Is it formal clothing?"

Alfred grinned, knowing that that meant he would come. He wasn't sure why, though, because usually Matthew wouldn't even consider going. "Nah, dude, it's casual as far as I know."

"Well, okay. I was just asking, alright?" Matthew said all of a sudden, his voice becoming high-pitched as he rubbed his chin and looked away. Alfred snickered, "You do the same thing every time you lie, Mattie!"

Matthew tilted his head, and asked curiously, "Do what?"

Alfred grinned and shook his head, "Nevermind that," He said. "But now I know you had ulterior motives. Is the fact that your hero of a big brother is going not enough for ya, Mattie?"

Matthew noted how Alfred's voice got a bit higher after he asked the question, and although he tried to seem like he was playing around, Matthew had been with him long enough to realize that he wasn't. "Well..." Matthew mumbled.

Taking away his playful nature, Alfred furrowed and brows and frowned, "It's not, huh? Guess I'm not as much of a hero as I thought I was...?"

Matthew was surprised at Alfred's change in nature all of a sudden. "Alfred, how can I believe that when all you ever seem to do these days is forget and ignore me?"

He hadn't intended to spill out the truth of how he felt just like that, it just happened. Alfred's eyes widened, and somehow he seemed to have a sympathetic and regretful look on his face. "Mattie..." He approached his brother, but Matthew only pushed him away and hid his face behind his bangs, closing his tired eyes that were beginning to fill with tears.

"Forget it." Matthew mumbled. "Get things straight with Arthur, Alfred, because he's making you act weird."

With that said, Matthew gestured to the door as a way of telling him to leave.

"F... Fine." Alfred murmured, feeling uneasy about the way his brother felt about him. "The party is at eight." He left the room, leaving an eerie silence as Matthew sighed to himself and lied back down on his bed. He removed his glasses, and proceeded to go back to sleep after turning off the light.

***

"Brother? Brother, where were you?" Ludwig asked worriedly, brows furrowed. He had been worried sick, as his brother hadn't come home at all the other night.

"I think I have the right to go wherever I want." Gilbert murmured.

Ludwig rubbed his temples, sighing and trying to control his irritation. "Alright, alright, sorry." He said softly, realizing that his brother wasn't being himself. "What is it?"

Gilbert sighed, and whispered softly, "He _knows_ now, brother."

Ludwig raised a questioning eyebrow, "Who knows what?"

Gilbert shook his head, and suddenly a huge grin was plastered on his face. "Aw, were you worried over the awesome me? So cute!"

He went to stretch his brother's cheeks, but Ludwig smacked it away. "Alright, whatever." Ludwig murmured. "Well, don't forget about the party at eight, ja?"

"What?" Gilbert asked, having completely forgotten after the incident with Matthew. "Oh, yeah, I remember." He coughed a bit, but left Ludwig alone in their shared room.

***

Matthew woke promptly from his nap, rubbing his eyes and putting on his glasses to look at the time. It read 8:40 P.M. He immediately sat up, remembering about the party and checking his phone to see if anyone bothered to try and check on him. _No notifications_. He sighed, but rushed to brush his teeth and take a shower, changing into whatever he found lying around. He was already rushing toward Mathias's house when it was 9 P.M., and knocked frantically on the door. A half drunk Mathias opened the door, with a dumbfounded face saying "Who are you?"

Matthew sighed, and shook his head, about to turn around. _What am I even doing here?_

Mathias, however, said quickly, "Oh, wait! You're America's brother, Canadia right?"

Matthew sighed inwardly, tired of people semi-forgetting his name. He nodded nevertheless, and proceeded to walk inside the house.

"You're pretty late," Mathias said, trying to make small talk for a few seconds and smiling cheerfully before going back to his own friends. "Thanks for coming anyway!"

Matthew nodded a bit, not wanting to hold him back. He wanted to say, _Thanks for not forgetting to invite me, but decided otherwise_. He looked around the nicely decorated home, scattered with beer bottles and such after only an hour. Alfred was sitting at a table with a burger and his arm around Kiku, who looked very awkward and timid under his hold. Matthew sighed; he had forgotten about the moment he gave him the jealousy idea.

Gilbert was at the bar, drinking a beer with Antonio and talking. Not far from him was Elizabeta and Roderich conversing with one another, Elizabeta noticeably blushing. Everyone was more or less having a great time, but Matthew didn't really have anywhere to go now that Alfred forgot about him again and Gilbert was upset with him. He sighed, and went over to a seat by the tables and just sat there awkwardly. His phone had turned off due to low battery, and after a while he had considered leaving.

That was, until he felt someone sit on him. From the long coat and scarf, he deduced that it was Ivan, who had sat on him once before.

"U-Uh, excuse me," Matthew says, tapping on Ivan's shoulders very hesitantly, trying to get his attention. After a few taps on Ivan's shoulders, the said country finally noticed Matthew under him suffocating to death. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. Be more careful next time, da?" Ivan apologizes with a smile almost looking too kind while getting off of Matthew's now crushed body. He terrified him, so he only nodded. He then walked away like if nothing happened. After Ivan was out of earshot, Matthew sighed before once again sitting down on the chair, all alone. He played with the edge of his shirt, the loud music hurting his ears and the bright lights hurting his eyes. The happy, dancing people around him made him feel empty and unneeded there.

***

It felt like it had been several hours at the party with how miserable Matthew was feeling. He really hadn't moved from his seat at all, and the only thing being at this party accomplished for him was having to go to the bathroom. He got up, and instantly a wave of music, blinding lights, and interacting people hit him in the face, and he almost physically stumbled backwards. He inwardly sighed, and wondered what the hell he was even doing here. But, where was the bathroom?

He went to look for Alfred, being the only person he'd be able to ask, and found him glaring daggers at Arthur.

"Alfred, do you know where the bathroom is?" Matthew asked his brother.

It took a moment for Alfred to process the question and the person in front of him, "Oh, hey, Mattie! You actually came!"

Matthew nodded, and wanted to say _yeah, but I wish I hadn't._

"And uh, sorry, I got no clue, dude. You should ask Mathias or something."

Matthew left, leaving Alfred to glare daggers at the British man. He went to look for Gilbert, who was the only other person who was acquainted with, but couldn't find him. Antonio was conversing with Francis instead. Then, Matthew had no other choice but to ask the host. He went over the beer cans tossed across the floor, and pushed his way through lots of people. He finally spotted Mathias, drinking a beer with Norway, Iceland, Sweden, and Finland. He awkwardly went over there, and hesitantly tapped on the blonde man's shoulder. He turned around a bit abruptly, spilling his beer a bit in the process. Matthew deciphered he was probably drunk.

"Um… Do you have a bathroom?" He murmured.

"What are you, an idiot? Who doesn't have a bathroom?" Mathias snapped, frightening him.

Iceland sighed noticeably, and turned to Matthew, saying softly, "It's upstairs, two doors to the right. Don't break anything."

Matthew thanked the said country, appreciating his straightforwardness. He heard Mathias laugh a bit obnoxiously behind him, and like always he assumed he was laughing at him. He just wanted to go home already. He walked up the stairs of the considerably large house, and without thinking opened the second door to the left. He found there was already someone in there; Gilbert. He was coughing a bit at the sink, but Matthew didn't think much of it and just walked over to him. "Hey, um, Gilbert…"

Gilbert's eyes widened when he realized he had forgotten to lock the door; he didn't want anyone to see him like this. He immediately washed up at the sink and reached for the small towel at his right, using it to wipe his mouth but unintentionally coughed into it.

"Look, I-I'm sorry about yesterday… It w-wasn't right of me to pry i-if you didn't want to talk… And I just –" Matthew stopped talking for a moment, looking at Gilbert in confusion who was staring at the towel in terror. "H-Hey, what is it?"

He reached for the towel, but Gilbert pushed him away and hurried to the trashcan. He tripped over his own foot, and almost fell to the concrete floor until Matthew took hold of his body and steadied him. The fallen towel on the ground was stained a crimson red in the middle; fresh blood.

"Gilbert? Is… Is that your blood?" Matthew asked, his voice trembling. He inspected the Prussian, noticing how pale he looked.

"I just… drank something I was allergic to…" He explained, obliviously resting his aching body on the Canadian's.

"Come on… I'll get you home…" Matthew said softly. "Can you walk?"

Gilbert nodded, but noticeably faltered on his steps.

"Where did you park your car?" Matthew asked.

Gilbert shook his head, muttering, "I didn't… I came with…"

"It's alright, I got it…" Matthew soothed, opening the door for the Prussian and leading him slowly down the stairs. He told him to wait somewhere, and went over to his brother.

"Alfred, can I please borrow your car?" Matthew asked.

Alfred raised an eyebrow at his brother, noticing the pleading look on his face. He decided that he wanted to change his crumbling relationship with his brother, and sighed, nodding, "Yeah, sure, but… how will _I_ get home?" He handed him the car keys and explained where it was.

Matthew looked at Kiku, then back at Alfred, and grinned. "No… Mattie, I can't –"

Before Alfred could protest further, Matthew left him and went over to Gilbert, helping him over to Alfred's car.


	4. Chapter 4

After placing Gilbert in the passenger seat of Alfred's car and starting the engine, Matthew broke the silence, "Do you want me to take you to your hotel?"

Gilbert shook his head without so much as a glance in Matthew's direction, muffling some of his coughs and looking out of the window. Matthew sighed to himself, and started the way to his hotel. When they arrived, he turned off the car, but made no action of getting up.

"Gilbert, what's going on?" Matthew asked, his voice soft as he knew the subject was touchy.

"It's none of your business." Gilbert muttered, trying to get out of the car by himself but faltering. Matthew rushed to his side, helping him inside the hotel and up the elevator. All the while, a bird was flying around them, chirping constantly. The bird even went inside Matthew's hotel room with them. He figured it belonged to Gilbert, because at several world meetings and such he would see it sitting on his head. He placed Gilbert on his bed and put the covers over him, and looking at the clock he realized it was almost two in the morning. He sighed, and almost fell over by how the bird was pecking at his hair.

"G-Gilbert! Is this yours?" Matthew asked exasperatedly, hopping around the room trying to get the bird away. Gilbert chuckled, and his smile seemed to light up the room. Matthew found himself staring, despite the bird bothering him.

"Gilbird!" Gilbert said sternly, and suddenly the bird stopped fretting around the Canadian and sat on Gilbert's head. "Sorry about that."

Matthew nodded, but couldn't get the fact that Gilbert didn't trust him enough to tell him what was going on with him out of his head. Then again, they'd only started talking a day or two ago; it wasn't much of a surprise but the Canadian had an urge to gain his trust and get closer. For the time being, he decided to put that aside and simply care for Gilbert.

"Wouldn't your brother be worried if you didn't come home again?" Matthew asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'll send him a text." Gilbert said, taking his phone out of his pocket.

"He'll start to wonder what you're doing with me so often." Matthew advised, rubbing his temples. "You shouldn't hang with me so much, or people will start to take notice."

"The awesome me can do as I please." Gilbert joked, sending his brother a text saying that he was staying over at someone's hotel again. He almost immediately received a text back, and his expression changed from neutral to tired.

"Looks like Ludwig and I have to take care of some business tomorrow morning." Gilbert groaned, the thought of having to wake up early putting him off. "And animals aren't allowed to the place where the conference is being held. Think you can take care of Gilbird for me, Matthew?"

The question hit the Canadian by surprise, and as he glanced at the bird it seemed as if the bird was glaring at him, "H-He doesn't seem to like me very much, Gilbert…"

"Nah, you'll be fine. I'll tell Ludwig to bring over his food and water if you agree. The meeting will only be for two or three boring hours, I think." Gilbert pleaded, rolling his eyes.

"You take care of Gilbird, Gilbert?" Matthew asked, a bit surprised that he had a connection with the bird.

"Well, don't you have that weird polar bear?" Gilbert retorted, chuckling at the Canadian's embarrassed face.

"Kumajirou is _not_ weird!" Matthew argued, scowling at the laughing Prussian. "But… okay, fine. He won't kill me, right?"

Gilbert shook his head, chuckling. However, Matthew viewed this as an opportunity to get closer to him, to gain his trust little by little. He brushed his teeth, changed into his maple leaf pajamas, and was about to crash on the couch until Gilbert spoke up, "It's your hotel room, why're you going to the couch?"

"Well, I, uh - "

"Either _I_ sleep on the couch, or you come here with me." Gilbert said, smirking at the blushing Canadian. "I'm not drunk, Matthew. I don't mind."

Matthew hesitated, but reluctantly he slipped into the bed with the Prussian. However, this time around they didn't cuddle or get close together like last time, as they were both sober now. For some reason, it made Matthew sad that the Gilbert hadn't wrapped his arm around him like the night prior, but he was too afraid to make a move himself. Gilbert, on the other hand, wasn't sure whether Matthew wanted him to do so, and instead kept his hands to himself and slept on his side of the bed.

When Matthew awoke from his slumber, the Prussian beside him was gone. Instead, he found a little sticky note on the nightstand next to his bed that had some of Gilbert's surprisingly neat handwriting on it. Somehow, he felt a bit lonely without Gilbert next to him. Looking at the clock, he realized it was already noon. He put on his glasses in order to read the note.

_Geez, you sleep like a log. Well, can't blame you; I had to wake up at 5… ;A; Sleep well, Gilbird's food and water I already placed on the desk. Also, don't feel too lonely without the awesome me_

_Gilbert_

Matthew blushed at the last part of the message and wondered if he had been able to predict his thoughts exactly. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Gilbird start to peck at his hair again.

"H-Hey, stop it!" Matthew yelped, feeling the bird peck and scratch at his face harshly. The sudden sound of knocking startled Matthew. With much difficulty, he opened the door to find an angry American at his door.

"Just when were you planning to give me back my car, Mattie?! I called you like twenty times after the party!" Alfred yelled, furious and coming into the hotel room.

Matthew, still being harassed by the bird, reached for his phone and saw that he had twenty-five missed calls from Alfred and three messages all reading "DUDE!" "WILL YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE?" "WHERE IS MY CAR?"

"Y-You texted me at 4 in the morning, I was sleeping by then, Alfred." Matthew said, sighing apologetically as the bird proceeded to pester him.

"Dude! You made me have to get home with _Kiku_!" Alfred said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Do you have any idea how _awkward_ that guy is?"

"E-Excuse me for intruding," Kiku muttered. He stood by the door way, watching the fiasco between the two brothers take place. He stared at Gilbird for a while, "… but doesn't that belong to Mr. Prussia?"

Matthew began to sweat nervously, his voice became high-pitched and he rubbed his chin, "W-What? No, I, uh, it's not like that!"

Suddenly Alfred's angry expression turned into a smug grin, "So you're into that guy, huh? Is that why you needed my car? To bring him over here and make a _move_? Damn, Mattie, didn't think you were that daring."

Matthew began to fidget, wincing at the bird's scratches.

"W-What, no! Of course not!" Matthew persisted, his voice serious even as he was being harassed by the bird. "I'm just taking care of Gilbird until he comes back from his meeting."

"That right…?" Alfred said, that smug grin still on his face. "Well, whatever the case, Kiku and I are about to head over and get some burgers! Right, Kiku?"

He looked over at Kiku, and Kiku sighed, shaking his head, "Just this once, I suppose. I am a bit hungry."

"Thanks, dude! That's awesome!" Alfred said, smiling happily. Matthew noticed the soft smile Kiku had on his face while looking at Alfred. It was adorable.

"Well, uh, here are your car keys," Matthew said, getting the keys from the nightstand and giving them to his brother. "Thanks for letting me borrow your car."

"Yeah, no problem, Mattie! That's what a hero is for!" Alfred said. "Well, see ya later, bro!"

He took hold of Kiku's hand, who immediately blushed, and headed out the door and outside, where it was sunny and nice. Matthew closed the door, and after sighing went over to the window and looked at how bright and sunny it was. He wanted to go out and go to a breakfast diner with someone special. He sighed at his thoughts, and after taking a shower and brushing his teeth with much difficulty because of Gilbird, he went to the small kitchen in the hotel room and made some pancakes. He made some for Gilbert, since he had said the meeting was to be two or three hours. But now he was worrying a bit; Gilbert said he had woken up at 5; just how long was the meeting? It was almost one in the afternoon, and Matthew didn't want to get stuck with Gilbird much longer.

Matthew washed his dish in the sink, and went over to the window. He opened it in order to feel some of the sunlight on his skin, and the gentle wind put his mind at ease. That was, until a certain bird flew right past him and out the window. It took him a moment to process what was happening as he watched the bird fly straight out the window and into the large American city ahead of him.

The only thoughts that went through his mind was: _Gilbert will hate me if I lose Gilbird like this! I'm such an idiot, I –_

But as quickly as those thoughts came, was as quickly as the Canadian jumped out of the window in his hotel room, which was located on the second floor. He grabbed on to the solid branch of a large tree next to his window, making the fall not as hard. A small pain ached on his ankle after the fall, but nevertheless he ran in the direction that Gilbird had flown off to. He ran and ran, in his sweatpants and t-shirt, through quite a lot of people who had gone to the American city. He passed by shopping centers and grocery stores, dollar shops and little food stands, and only stopped when he had bumped into someone and fallen to the ground.

"You okay?" A friendly, feminine voice asked. Matthew looked up and took in the sight of Seychelles, a beautiful girl with brown skin and long chestnut brown hair tied into two pig-tails, along with bright, curious brown eyes. She was wearing a bright blue dress that looked amazing on her, in Matthew's opinion. He blushed, and nodded while taking her hand as she helped lift him up. That was when he realized he was so out of breath, his lungs were on fire. "What're you in such a rush for, Matthew?"

The fact that she had remembered his country _and_ name made him feel all tingly inside, and it took him a while to answer because of the girl's dazzling beauty. "I-I, uh… I-I'm looking for a bird that…uh, it kind of flew out of my window, and…"

"Oh, no! That's terrible! Do you need any help finding it?" She asked, smiling softly. "I'm always up for an adventure!"

Matthew nodded, "Y-Yes, thank you… It's, uh, Gilbird… Very small, yellow…"

"I'll go looking for him in the direction I was heading prior to our encounter, then! It was nice meeting you! I'll be sure to try to find you if I do find Gilbird." She said, giving a small wave and a bright smile as she walked away in the opposite direction.

Matthew found himself asking himself just how a beautiful girl could be that kind, and got lost in thought thinking about her until he remembered about Gilbird. He rushed off, asking people if they had seen Gilbird, describing him. Some had said no, whilst some had pointed him in a direction, and the entire day he spent wandering around the big American city in search of Gilbird.

Eventually, he stopped running in order to catch his breath, and when he looked at the sky he realized it had gotten dark. It had gotten very cold since it was nearing late May, and the harsh wind only made it colder; not only that, he was also very hungry. Many people who were walking past him to casinos and such bumped into him since he was the middle of the street.

"Move it, loser." One man said, wearing dark glasses and expensive-looking clothing. He had bright blonde hair and brown eyes, and there was a lady holding his hand. "If you're that tired, go home to your mommy."

Matthew wanted to yell at his face and tell him that he was no loser, that he was a very important country, but instead he muttered an apology and continued to wander. He was shivering immensely from the cold; the temperature was dropping at a gradual pace. When it started to rain, he walked into one of the shops and looked at the clock, realizing it was past ten in the evening. He had spent his entire day looking for Gilbird, to no avail. He sighed, and tried to go back to from where he came; but then he realized he didn't know where he was. Sure, he had come to visit America quite a lot of times, but he had never wandered this far alone. What way was his hotel? How far was he from there? He tried to get his phone to see if Alfred could help him, but then he realized he hadn't brought his phone with him.

Turning many corners, traffic lights, cars, and casinos, he continued to walk in the direction he thought he had come from since it had gotten too cold and it had started raining quite hard, but there was no confirmation that he was going the right way. He was feeling a bit dizzy, and he had trouble with his coordination for some reason. He only realized something was wrong when he lost balance and fell into the river beside the sidewalk. He swam to the shore when he realized he had fallen into some sort of body of water. His body was shivering a lot now, from the ice cold water and the harsh wind. His clothes and hair were soaked, sticking to his skin. He stopped in a dark corner, feeling his throat dry up. He was so cold; all he wore was a t-shirt and some sweatpants, and yet, still, the wind was blowing harshly against his skin. His stomach roared in hunger, but he didn't think he deserved to eat yet if he hadn't even found Gilbird. _Why did I have to open that damn window?_ He thought bitterly to himself, feeling hot tears well up in his eyes. _Gilbert will hate me. He won't ever trust me._

Just as quickly as he started to weep silently to himself, was just as quickly as he heard loud footsteps running near him, but he kept his eyes shut tightly, because above all else he was scared. It was dark out and there weren't many people around now that he wasn't in the city. When he felt someone take hold of his shoulders, he yelped in terror and on reflex gave a lousy punch in the direction of the person.

"Woah! Matthew, it's just the awesome me!" Someone said, and when he opened his eyes he saw none other than Gilbert with a concerned expression on his face.

"G-Gilbert…" Matthew choked out, and suddenly the tears came out like a waterfall at the sight of him. He covered his face with his hands, rubbing away at his eyes. "I-I'm s-so sorry… I-I just… I opened the window a-and… h-he… I-I tried to… L-Look for him, and I-I'm sorry, p-please don't hate me…"

He began to shake, both from fear and from the cold, since it had begun to rain a lot harder. Gilbert chuckled, and took off his own coat and placed it on Matthew. He opened his umbrella again and held it between them. "Don't worry about it. Let's just head back, alright? You must be cold and starving."

"Y-You don't hate me?" Matthew asked, eyes widening. He was speaking in a very slurred manner that was hard to understand. "B… But…"

"I had gone back to the hotel, and a few hours ago Seychelles came by and brought me Gilbird." Gilbert explained, trying to put the Canadian at ease. To be truthful, he had gotten to the hotel room at around six in the afternoon, a bit angry that the meeting ended up taking a lot longer than he expected it to last. However, when he knocked, there was no answer, and he used the spare key he had gotten. When he entered, there was no one in the room, and the window was wide open. Matthew's phone was placed on the counter, and Gilbird wasn't anywhere in sight either. Gilbert began to worry, but it wasn't too difficult to deduce that Gilbird had flown out the window to Matthew's dismay.

What he was really worried about was how long Matthew was out there. He decided to wait a little longer, but an hour later someone came knocking, and opening the door he saw Seychelles holding a calm, almost smiling Gilbird on her head. She said that she had helped Matthew find Gilbird, but didn't know where he was so she went to his hotel. When Gilbert told her that Matthew wasn't back yet, she told him to tell him that she thanked him for the adventure. She hoped that he was okay, as she really did find him kind and cute.

Gilbert couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy at hearing that Matthew had spent some time of his day with Seychelles and not him, but pushed that thought aside when he realized it really was getting late and he still hadn't returned.

Having the Canadian right beside him under the shared, large umbrella somehow put him at ease, as did it to Matthew. But still, Matthew's heart hammered in his chest since their shoulders were brushing. "And… Awesome me doesn't hate you. You did go to the extent of looking for him, after all."

Suddenly, Mathew started to laugh and cry at the same time, a deranged sound was the result of it that worried the heck out of Gilbert. "W-What is it?!"

Matthew shook his head, wiping away the tears and saying, "I thought you'd hate me… T-Thank you for not." He noticed that his shivering had stopped, even though he was freezing. He found it a bit weird but didn't put much thought into it.

"Well, w-whatever. Let's just get back to the hotel already. It's starting to rain a lot harder." Gilbert said, changing the subject and putting his free hand in front of his mouth. He usually got nervous and awkward when someone cried in front of him, since he didn't know how to react. "And, anyway, why're you soaking wet? I know it's raining, but…"

"I-I fell into a river…" Matthew muttered, embarrassed. Gilbert didn't know how to answer to that other than being shocked, and instead made a note to himself to tell the Canadian to change clothes immediately and drink something warm when they got to the hotel. He also noticed how Matthew was limping slightly.

When they arrived to the front of the hotel room, Gilbert said, "Well, goodbye, Mattie. Don't miss the awesome me too much~"

"W-What? You're leaving?" Matthew asked, finding himself surprised and a little sad. He quickly shook his head, ashamed that he had asked such a stupid question. This wasn't even his house, and he and Gilbert didn't even know each other very well. "N-Nevermind. Uh, you need the bird f-food and water back, right…"

His breathing was slow and shallow despite having walked a long way, and when he tried to walk inside his hotel room he stumbled a bit and almost lost balance and fell until Gilbert caught him.

"What's up with you? You're not allergic to Gilbird, are you?" Gilbert asked.

Matthew shook his head, "I would have gotten sick a long time ago if that was the case…" He mumbled, his speaking slurred.

"Then…" Gilbert leaned forward and placed his hand under Matthew's hair and onto his forehead. It was really cold, to his surprise. "Matthew… How long were you out there?"

"I-I left around one…" Matthew mumbled, shaking his head. "I-I'm fine… Don't worry about m-me."

"Did you eat anything?" Gilbert asked, worried. "You didn't bring a sweater? You went out in just that? Didn't you come back to the hotel?"

Matthew shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, "I-It's not that big of a…"

Then suddenly he blacked out for a few seconds, and when he came to Gilbert was holding him by the shoulders asking him what was wrong, and telling him that he should have told him he got sick easily. Gilbird was chirping non-stop all over again, seemingly noticing that something had happened to the Canadian.

Gilbert realized that Matthew had been out there for long after nine hours, without eating. He hadn't been wearing a sweater or carrying an umbrella when it started to rain hard and when it had started to get very cold. He didn't know what to do, but immediately he carried Matthew in his arms and left the hotel altogether while Gilbird slipped into his breast pocket, and after asking where the nearest hospital was he ran over there, through the rain, and through the cold, with an umbrella he had put under his arm to block the rain from the Canadian. Gilbert didn't get sick very easily, so a few minutes in the rain wouldn't cause him sickness.

When he arrived to the nearest hospital, some nurses took hold of Matthew and rushed him to another room when they realized he was soaking wet yet not shivering in the slightest, and that he was half-conscious. They hadn't told Gilbert a word, and instead left him to wait by himself in the waiting room. The only thought that raced through his mind was _"It's all my fault..."_


	5. Chapter 5

The racing nurses and heavy supplies in carts had concerned the Gilbert for the Canadian's welfare. He sighed to himself, remembering Matthew's half-conscious face when he had rushed him to the hospital, when he had clung to his shirt and continued to mutter that he was okay.

He pulled over in the hospital's parking lot, the sun's brightness hitting him on his face when he got out. He had left a few couple minutes after he dropped off the Canadian and explained things to the doctor, and gone to his shared hotel room with Ludwig.. The doctor had called him at around noon the next day saying that Matthew had woken up, so he made his way over there.

The past conversation between him and one of the doctors crossed his mind.

"Right, Mr. Gilbert. I understand you are a friend of Mr. Williams, yes?" The doctor asked, and Gilbert nodded his head. "I've come to ask you a few questions about his condition before he fell unconscious in order to figure out his illness or what's causing it."

_I'm the one who caused it,_ Gilbert thought. _It's all my fault. I should have gone looking for him from the beginning. I should have called, or told him that if Gilbird flew off he didn't have to worry because I could just summon him back. It's all my fault, my fault…_

"Right, well, he had been outside from the afternoon to late evening, and from what he told me he hadn't eaten… And it had started raining and gotten cold but he wasn't wearing a sweater and he didn't have an umbrella. He also said he had fallen into a river… He seemed fine when I found him, but when we went back to the hotel he kind of started to lose his balance, and he spoke in a way that was really hard to understand… Then he kind of went unconscious for a few seconds but he came to."

The doctor was taking note of everything he was saying, listening intently.

"In my understanding he was exposed to long-term cold temperature and heavy rain, and in addition cold water, yes? And he had lack of coordination and slurred speech, along with gradual loss of consciousness?" The doctor asked, and Gilbert confirmed. "This is very important, Mr. Gilbert. Was he shivering when you found him? Was he worried about himself?"

"Well he was at first, but when we started walking to the hotel he kind of stopped shivering. And, well, no, but he is a modest person." Gilbert answered.

"Thank you." The doctor said, taking a last note of the information before turning around and about to head back to the Canadian's room.

"Wait!" Gilbert protested, his loud voice almost shaking the quiet hospital. "What's wrong with him? Will he be alright?"

"I have to do some tests before I solidly diagnose him with something. Please be patient." The doctor told him before returning to the hospital room. When she returned after about half an hour later, she began explaining things to the confused and worried Prussian.

"Based on his symptoms, and the reading on the rectal thermometer, I think it's safe to say he has developed moderate hypothermia." She explained, although Gilbert didn't know what that was. "It's when heat is lost faster than the body can make some. Don't worry, I have already rewarmed his blood by using a hemodialysis machine. He will be alright after a day or two. When he comes to, I give you permission to take him with caution."

Gilbert nods, glad at the news. She smiles, and adds, "He is a country, however, so I suspect he might heal a lot quicker."

He was very happy at hearing Matthew would go back to him, but then found himself waiting in the waiting room for him wondering why he was feeling that way. Just a few days ago, he was a complete stranger that meant nothing to him. And yet after spending time with him, he meant so much more to him. Gilbert shook his head and told himself that he was only worried because of the guilt that it was his fault, not because of anything else.

"Mr. Gilbert, Matthew is ready for release." The doctor said. He followed the doctor to the Canadian's room and walked in through the door. The doctor left the room briefly to leave them to themselves.

"Matthew." Gilbert said, but that was the only thing that left his lips. He didn't know what to say.

Matthew's cheeks noticeably darkened, and he asked, "Oh, maple. How long have I been here? Were you waiting? Did Alfred find out?"

"About a day. And, uh, I called him earlier and he said he'd be here shortly, but…" Gilbert trailed off, knowing how much Alfred meant to Matthew although the American seemed busy at some kind of social event.

Matthew's expression drooped. "But, uh, look on the bright side! The awesome me is here! What more do you need?" Gilbert said, trying to chee him up. He expected Matthew to continue sulking, but instead he smiled. Although he had smiled various times before him, he found himself staring.

"You're right," Matthew said softly, continuing to smile. "Thank you."

Gilbert continued to stare, although time seemed to pass slowly.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?" Matthew asked.

When Gilbert realized he had been staring, he brought his hand up to his mouth out of embarrassment, "No. Just, forget it. Let's go. I brought you a change of clothes from your hotel room."

He handed the change of clothes to Matthew, making him realize he was wearing one of those hospital gowns. "Oh, right." He said, taking the t-shirt and jeans. He stood up and turned around, "Can you pull this thing over my head for me?"

"What?" Gilbert asked, surprised. He was expecting Matthew to be embarrassed to change in front of him, and to be truthful Gilbert found himself hesitant. "Oh, uh, sure."

He pulled the hospital gown over Matthew's head and set it on the bed, and Canada reached for his pants. Gilbert was turning away, his heart beat suddenly accelerating. Then suddenly he heard Matthew yell, trip and fall, and quickly he turned around and caught him.

Matthew was halfway through putting on his pants, but then he realized he had put them on the wrong way out of nervousness and tried to take them off before Gilbert noticed and made fun of him, but in doing so he had tripped over the fabric hanging from his feet.

"You're such a dork," Gilbert said, laughing a bit nervously as the position they were in was a bit awkward. He was holding Matthew by the shoulders, looking at him eye to eye since they were the same height more or less. They stayed like that until someone came bursting through the door, yelling "Mattie! Bro!"

Alfred showed up at the door, holding some sort of beverage in his hand. "Oh, uh, am I interrupting something?" He asked, looking from Gilbert to the barely clothed Canadian. He sent a smug grin to Matthew, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kiku walked into the hospital room, taking in the sight. A light blush covered his cheeks, and he coughed a bit awkwardly.

"Get out! Get out! Get _out_!" Matthew yelled, his face flushing in a deep red as he pushed them all out of the room. "I'm changing!" He tripped again as he closed the door, but caught himself by putting a hand on the wall. He began to wonder why he had gotten so embarrassed when his brother and Kiku came in, when he was able to change in front of Gilbert. Did that mean they were close enough as friends that he could change in front of him? No, that wasn't right. That wouldn't explain his heart was hammering in his chest when the Prussian was in there with him.

He quickly changed into the clothes Gilbert had brought for him, and opened the door a bit nervously. He found Alfred leaning in on Gilbert, asking him something a bit personal, Matthew guessed, because there was a dust of pink of his cheeks.

"H-Hey, what are you doing, Alfred? Leave him alone," He said defensively, and Alfred turned towards him and grinned as if he knew something. "Oh, and, how's Gilbird?"

Then suddenly chirping was heard, and a bird came out of Gilbert's breast pocket. It landed on Matthew's head, and at first he thought it would scratch at him again, but instead it did some sort of soft pecking motion in his hair. Matthew giggled a bit, and Gilbert found himself smiling.

"Well, what're we all waiting for? Let's go to Mcdonald's or something!" Alfred said, excited.

"Excuse me, unfortunately animals aren't allowed in this hospital. Please take it outside." A nurse said, noticing the bird on Matthew's head. Gilbird flew up and started to flock around the nurse, and she dropped her clipboard, trying to get the bird away from her. Gilbert and Alfred were laughing hysterically while Kiku was holding his head in embarrassment. Matthew was trying to help the poor nurse.

In the end, they were all kicked out of the hospital.

After grabbing his phone and getting washed up at his hotel room, Matthew was ready to head to the small diner with Gilbert, Alfred, and Kiku. That is, until his phone began to ring. He answered the phone, and in came the feminine, enthusiastic voice of Seychelles, "Hey! This is Matthew, right?"

"U-Uh, yes." Matthew said, surprised by the call. He guessed that Gilbert probably gave her his phone number when she came to return Gilbird.

"So, you're alright?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Oh, I'm so glad! I went looking for you but couldn't find you! I'm glad you're okay!"

Matthew hesitantly asked, "U-Uh, Alfred, Gilbert, Kiku and I are going to go to this diner right about now, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come…?"

"What? Right now?" She repeated. "Sorry, I've got a lot of things to do right now. Maybe next time!"

"I… It's fine." Matthew said, sighing inwardly. "Thanks for calling."

He hung up, and found himself kind of sad; he felt like he had just been rejected even though he didn't really ask her out, and she was really probably just busy.

"Aw, did you just get rejected?" Gilbert asked, coming from the bathroom snickering.

Matthew blushed, "You were eavesdropping, weren't you? Shut up!" He said in embarrassment, taking a pillow from his bed and throwing it at unsuspecting Gilbert. Gilbert laughed, and suddenly got hit in the face by the pillow. He purposely fell over, and pretended to be unconscious.

"Oh, maple! Gilbert!" Matthew yelled in concern, rushing over to the Prussian. He shook his shoulders repeatedly, "Ah! Are you okay?! Am I supposed to do CPR or something?!"

He was about to rush over to his nightstand to call for some help until he heard snickering behind him, and suddenly Gilbert took hold of Matthew and flipped him over, going on top of him. Matthew blushed a deep red, "You were lying! I seriously thought you were hurt or something!"

Gilbert grinned, and although he wanted to do more he got up and offered his hand to the angry Canadian. He refused to take it after being tricked, and instead pouted and crossed his arms.

"Hey, but… You don't really like that Seychelles chick, do you?" Gilbert asked suddenly, his voice softer than usual.

"N… No. I guess not," Matthew said. "It's just, after talking with you I kind of wanted to make more friends, you know? Before you, I only knew Alfred, and most of the time he pretends he can't see me…"

"Making friends is easy!" Gilbert said, putting an arm around Matthew's shoulders and laughing. "All you have to do is show everyone how awesome you are!"

"It's easy... for you… I mean, unlike me you are cool and lively." Matthew muttered, sighing and about to go into his closet to grab a sweater.

Gilbert felt his cheeks heat up a little at hearing what Matthew thought of him and said, "Well, what're you talking about? The awesome Prussia only hangs out with awesome people and countries, obviously!"

Matthew smiled, knowing that Gilbert was always trying to cheer him up. But he knew that Gilbert needed comforting too, after that day with the nightmares and the drinking. Lately, he had been acting as if that hadn't happened, and it worried Matthew.

"Thank you." Matthew said, continuing to smile. It put Gilbert into a daze, and quickly he shook his head and put on his shoes again. They walked out of the hotel, and Gilbert swung his keys around his finger while standing in front of a new car.

"What?! When did you get this?!" Matthew asked, staring at it in awe.

"Just yesterday," Gilbert said, loving the expression of awe on the Canadian's face. "It's awesome, right?"

He didn't mention that the reason he had gotten a new car in order was to get around more easily, and after that whole incident where he had to carry Matthew to the hospital in the rain he didn't want to take any more chances.

"But aren't you going back to Prussia? I mean, the world meeting is over. Why buy an American car you won't be able to bring back home?" Matthew asked, and the statement hurt Gilbert a bit. _Does he want me to go back_? He thought.

"Well, I thought maybe I'd stick around and visit America, you know…" Gilbert answered, but in reality he found himself wanting to spend more time with the Canadian. He couldn't even admit that to himself, however.

"Oh! Can I visit with you?" Matthew asked, leaning in closer to Gilbert. "I mean, I've always walked around America's states and stuff, but Alfred is always busy and I have to visit alone… It'll be more fun with someone! And then maybe we can visit my country, and I can show you how to play hockey and make pancakes for you, and I'll properly introduce you to Kumajiro, and…"

He continued to rant on. Gilbert chuckled, and found himself shuffling Matthew's hair. He was about to tell him he was just so adorable, but quickly stopped himself and retreated his hand. He put his hand in front of his mouth out of embarrassment, and Matthew started at him in confusion. _He sure is acting weird lately_ , he thought.

But Gilbert knew why Matthew did these things to him. It's because, watching someone strive for friendships and rant about the things they love to you is truly beautiful, and lately he noticed that his smile was becoming brighter. Matthew was becoming closer to Gilbert, and showing him new aspects of his personality. The more he did so, the more he reeled him in.

"Well, sure! You're awesome enough to hang with me," Gilbert said, laughing a bit nervously. "Now, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Embarrassed!Prussia and Matchmaker!America. Matchmaker!Seychelles will probably show up soon. Also, constructive criticism is always appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Gilbert drove, while Matthew was on the passenger's seat looking a bit flustered while putting his hands on his knees.

"What is it, Mattie?" Gilbert asked, snickering at how Matthew's face got a bit redder. "Relax, it's just a little get together, right?" He reassured.

"Yeah, but... I've never been to one like this... And it's really..."

"Scary? Exciting?" Gilbert finished his sentence. Matthew nodded. He put one arm over the Canadian's shoulders, causing him to tense.

"Don't worry about it. It'll be worth your time. Especially with the awesome me," He said. Matthew smiled and nodded, knowing that Gilbert was always trying to cheer him up.

"Thank you," He replied. As the car ride continued, it wasn't the same as the first time they had rode together when Gilbert was drunk. Instead, Matthew was talking about all sorts of things: about how he couldn't wait for winter so that he could go back to Canada and do all kinds of winter activities, like play hockey and go skiing.

Gilbert smiled and commented on these things, and for some reason the fact that Matthew shared all of these interests with him and became comfortable around him made him happy. When they first met, Matthew was quiet and shy, yet now they could talk without it being a one-sided conversation.

Before Matthew knew it, they had already arrived at the diner. They walked in, but as soon as Kiku and Alfred came into sight Matthew had gotten quiet again.

When they sat down at the table, Gilbert casually put an arm around him accidentally after a yawn. He noticed he had suddenly put an arm around the Canadian, but made no effort to remove it. Matthew was tense at first, but eventually he melted into the feeling.

"So? Are you guys together yet?" Alfred asked, and it took a moment before Matthew's face was flushed in red and he almost went over there and strangled his brother from the embarrassment. "Calm down, bro! Why do you care so much? I was kidding. If you didn't like him, you wouldn't have taken it so personally~"

Before Matthew could answer, their previously ordered food arrived.

"You don't have to worry about that, Matthew already has the hots for Seychelles." Gilbert stated bluntly, his tone a bit harsh as he began to eat his food.

Matthew blushed a bit, but he shook his head calmly, "That's not true. I don't like her that way."

"Then why are you blushing?" Alfred asked, grinning.

"Because you're embarrassing me in front of–" He was about to say Gilbert, but instead coughed a bit awkwardly and shook his head. "If Arthur were here, he'd be telling you to shut up and eat, brother."

"That makes your relationship with him sound like father and child." Gilbert commented, grinning as the American began to protest.

"It's not like that anymore!" He yelled, face heating up in anger and embarrassment, startling everyone around the table. He coughed, and quickly laughed and slurped his coke, "I'm not a child anymore! I'm a hero!"

However, it was only a vain attempt to hide his earlier outrage. No one questioned it, and instead they began to eat.

"So, bro, you sure you're okay?" Alfred asked, raising an eyebrow. He was genuinely concerned, because as far as he knew Matthew had collapsed due to staying outside in the rain for too long, but he wasn't sure of the reason why.

Matthew nodded, "Don't worry about me. I'm okay now."

"Why were you out there so long?" Alfred asked, taking a bite of his hamburger.

Matthew didn't want him to hate Gilbert for something like this, but he said the truth nevertheless, just not all of it, "I was taking care of a bird temporarily, and it flew off so I went looking for it. I guess I lost track of time, eh?"

Alfred narrowed his eyes at the bird on Prussia's head.

Instead of showing that he thought there was a connection between Gilbird and the bird Matthew was talking about, he laughed and said, "You sure are silly, bro. You need a hero like me at all times, don't you?"

Matthew smiled softly, but he couldn't help but think that even though Alfred said so, he wouldn't be accompanying him for long, whether he was the only country Matthew made relations with or not. The thought saddened him a bit, but he didn't say anything.

"Man, I really have to go to the bathroom. Come with me, Gilbert," Alfred said, a huge grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around Gilbert and practically dragged him to the restroom.

Matthew arched an eyebrow at the pair, muttering, "What was that about?"

"I have no idea." Kiku commented, startling Matthew since he wasn't expecting an answer from the quiet man. Plus, they had never really talked before. "Excuse me, but… Alfred-san's birthday is coming up soon. D-Do you know of anything he might like?"

The question hit Matthew by surprise. The dust of red on Kiku's cheeks implied it was embarrassing for him to ask about it. "Uh, well, you know how much he likes burgers, so you could take him to a diner of some sort. Maybe you can throw him a party, or go to some kind of entertainment park," He suggested thoughtfully.

But in all honesty, he started to think about what he wanted for his _own_ birthday, which was a few days before Alfred's. No one ever remembers, and he wasn't one to push into everyone's faces that it was his birthday, or even tell them when his birthday was. So in the end, each year he would buy himself a pair of pancakes and place a lit candle on top, and in a dimly lit room he would wish his brother or anyone came to support him. The loneliness of it all would devour him, and he would find himself crying on his birthday each year. He figured this year would be the same.

Matthew sighed to himself, pushing away his thoughts and returning to reality. Kiku was nodding, making a mental note to himself of all the things the Canadian had told him. "H-How about lunch and a water park?" He asked. "Maybe I could make him some onigiri as well."

Matthew smiled; Although it wasn't too obvious, his brother was always overjoyed whenever Kiku made or bought him something, or initiated conversation. He remembered how he would go on and on about how awesome he thought Kiku was, how he hoped to "chill" with him sometime soon.

"Alfred has been talking about wanting to go to a waterpark, after all… Maybe you and Mr. Prussia can come as well?" Kiku thought aloud.

Matthew nodded, continuing to eat his food. He couldn't help but wonder what had come up with Alfred and Gilbert. He knew it wasn't like his brother to take an acquaintance to the restroom like that – a lame excuse to go and talk to him privately. He could only hope that Alfred wouldn't reprimand him on the whole bird incident. It wasn't his fault, after all.

Alfred pushed Gilbert onto the wall, leaning in dangerously close as he gritted his teeth and breathed loudly, "Please tell me that fucking bird of yours had nothing to do with Matthew getting hurt. Because I swear to God, I will never let you near him again if you hurt him."

Gilbert pushed him off of him, "Says the hypocrite who constantly leaves him behind and hurts him _a lot_ more than he realizes. I'm not apologizing for that bird incident; it wasn't my fault."

However, Gilbert _did_ think it was his fault, every last bit of it, but he wouldn't show weakness to the American. How Matthew was able to get him to show every one of his weaknesses and emotions, he didn't know. All he knew was that he wouldn't let his guard down for some hypocrite of an American.

"I realize that, and I'm working on becoming a better brother for him. But _you_. You can't even admit to yourself that it was your fault, because you're the _oh-so-great-Prussia_ who could never do anything wrong, isn't that right?" Alfred said, sarcasm seeping from his tone. "I know that you're planning on taking over my brother, but you'll have to get through _me_ first."

Gilbert had enough of his nonsense. "You think that everything revolves around you, don't you? You don't give two shits about Matthew until someone else starts making relations with him. You think you're so great since Matthew trusts you and _only_ you. You need to get your shit together, Alfred, because you can't go around caring about someone only when it's convenient for yourself." Gilbert said, glaring at the American. "Also… You don't know anything about me, Alfred; that's a _fact_."

He scoffed and turned around, heading back for the table, "And just for the record, there is no way I'm staying away from someone as awesome as Matthew."

The comment infuriated Alfred, "Don't think you can do as you please with him!"

Gilbert just grinned and said, "Watch me."

He returned to the table, as did Alfred, and after continuing to talk as if nothing happened and saying their goodbyes, Gilbert and Canada found themselves in the car again.

"Gilbert, did Alfred say anything to you?" Matthew asked as Gilbert started the car. His hold on the car wheel noticeably tightened, but he let go.

"Not really." Gilbert said, and he started the car and began heading for his apartment.

Matthew sighed at the short response. Gilbert always kept things from him. He knew that they had only just started off as barely friends, but he couldn't help but feel as if he wasn't good enough for him. He wanted to get close enough to him to get him to tell him what was going on, like why he was coughing up blood that day, or why he was having those nightmares. Although he tried to hide it, Matthew knew something was wrong.

"Why are we going to your apartment?" Matthew asked, changing the subject and genuinely confused.

"Don't get your mind in the gutter, Mattie." Gilbert responded, winking at him quickly before putting his eyes back on the road. Matthew felt his cheeks heat up, and as much as he hated to admit it he knew he always acted differently around the Prussian, but never put much thought into it.

"Alright, well, apparently West is going to visit Feliciano in his country so he's leaving the hotel room. But he was the one paying for it, and I don't have any American money so, I've decided to stay at your place." Gilbert explained, turning a corner.

"What? With me?" Matthew asked, a bit surprised.

"Well, you did say you wanted to tour America with me, didn't you? It'd be a drag to have to pick you up each and every time, ya know?" Gilbert tried to justify his desire, but in reality he just subconsciously wanted to spend more time with the Canadian.

Matthew nodded, "Well I do have this apartment I bought long ago in order to use it whenever I came to visit Alfred."

"Why don't you use it?"

"Well, the last time I was there I sort of put the kitchen on fire by mistake making breakfast for myself… It was one of the first times making that dish and I guess I followed one of the directions wrong. I know that the place is basically mine now and I shouldn't worry over that but the smoke alarm went off and woke everyone on the same floor as me up since it was early morning, and that was the first time they noticed me, and I think those people hate me now…" Matthew explained, almost drowning the car in gloominess.

"Huh…" Gilbert said. He put a free arm around Matthew, something he did quite often now. "Don't worry about it, I'll beat up anyone who even looks at you wrong."

Matthew shook his head quickly, a bit flustered that someone had offered to protect him, "N-No, it's fine. It's better to be hurt than to hurt others… I don't really mind…"

However, he knew that whenever someone hurt him, he _did_ mind. He minded _a lot_. It was one of the reasons he found himself pitiful. But in order to keep the image of a peaceful and selfless country, he pretended being hurt like that didn't faze him. None of that mattered, though, because Gilbert saw right through him.

"Don't give me that nonsense. 'Course you mind." Gilbert said, his tone a bit stern. "I'll give those losers a piece of my awesome mind for you."

Those words made Matthew so, so happy, happier than he'd like to admit, even though he didn't want any violence.

After Gilbert got his luggage in the trunk, they proceeded back to Matthew's small hotel room to pick up his things.

"You really don't clean your rom, huh?" Gilbert commented, snickering at the embarrassed expression he got from Matthew.

"It's not that! I just… haven't had the time. Been chasing around birds and hanging with a dork lately." Matthew joked, earning a grin from the Prussian. "And, hey! The first time you came over here to pick me up for that stupid party, you said your room was like this, too!"

Gilbert arched an eyebrow, trying to remember what he was referring to, and then remembered. It was when he had invited him to the bar with Francis and Antonio and found him sleeping when he had come to pick him up at around ten in the evening.

"People change," Gilbert said jokingly, chuckling. To be completely honest, Gilbert's room was anything but messy. He was a clean freak, after all, despite his arrogant and egoistic nature. He had only said that to Matthew to cheer him up, since that day he had been on the verge of tears at the embarrassment of the mess being seen by Gilbert.

"A-And, truth to be told, my room was only a mess that day because I was nervous of what to wear to that get-together thing… S-So in the end, all my clothes were everywhere…" Matthew said, regretting telling him that shortly thereafter.

"I always have that effect on people," Gilbert said, an arrogant laugh following thereafter.

Matthew's cheeks darkened, throwing a pillow at Gilbert as he said, "I'm never telling you anything like that ever again!"

The comment worried Gilbert a bit, but when he turned around to see the expression on Matthew's face, he found him with a smile on his face. _He was only joking. Thank God,_ Gilbert thought to himself.

"Alright, let's go," He said, taking hold of the luggage for Matthew and carrying it to the car. When they arrived at the apartment, they carried their luggage into the apartment. It was pretty average, with one room, a kitchen, and a bathroom.

Matthew continued to zoom past the hallway and into the apartment quickly whenever he went back to the car to get something, and Gilbert realized it was to avoid seeing any of the neighbors again. After they settled down, and finally set everything into place and lay on the bed exhausted, Gilbert decided to ask.

"How long ago was the last time you came here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the nervous Canadian.

"When I was barely 75." Matthew said, thinking back.

"How old are you now?"

"I'm about to turn 148 soon." Matthew replied.

"Mattie, that's a pretty long time. I doubt anyone remembers you had lived here," Gilbert said seriously, trying to assure him. Matthew shrugged, still a bit paranoid. "And what was that? It's your birthday soon?"

Matthew's cheeks heated up, and he said, "I-It's not important."

But his averting eyes said the exact opposite. They were almost screaming, _Please. Please remember. Please celebrate it with me._

However, he thought that to be selfish of him, to want someone, _anyone_ , to be with him during his birthday, to celebrate it with him, to tell him happy birthday and give him a gift, anything, even a hug, or maybe even a gift. He thought it was a fantasy out of his reach.

"'Course it is! Who would want to be alone on their birthday?" Gilbert asked rhetorically, though he sounded a bit pained at the mention of being alone. "When is it?"

"N-Next week. Wednesday." Matthew muttered, almost unable to keep his happiness that someone had actually asked him for his birthday. "W-Will you come and celebrate it with me?"

The glimmer and happiness in his eyes made Gilbert unable to say no, although there was no way he would have rejected him from the start. Matthew looked so happy, so excited. "Celebrate it with you? Do you have a party every year, then?"

That question brought back the lonely memories, and Gilbert noticed how Matthew's eyes had gotten so sad so quickly, "Well…"

"…I do have a party every year. I invite Alfred and Kumajirou, but Alfred always forgets and Kumajirou runs off somewhere. And, in the end…" Matthew trailed off, not wanting to spell out that he was a pitiful loser every year. Tears started welling up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away and smiled sadly, "I-It's not that big of a deal. Who would want to waste a day away with someone like me, right?"

"The awesome me, that's who!" Gilbert said, a grin planted on his face. In all honesty, he felt pained to hear Matthew say that. If there was one thing he hated, it was being alone. Being betrayed, ignored. After Elizabeta had left him behind, he never could bring himself to forgive her. He developed the fear of betrayal, abandonment, trust issues… Yet he knew that this right now wasn't about him, it was about Matthew. "Don't worry about Alfred. He doesn't know what he's missing! I'm sure he'll show up this year. Be positive that the awesome me will, too."

Matthew felt tears of happiness welling up in his eyes, but he shook them away again and instead found himself hugging Gilbert, "T-Thank you so much." He whispered, and he didn't realize that Gilbert's face had reddened at the sudden contact. Gilbert had done so much for him for no apparent reason, had been there for him and talked to him when no one else would. And for that, he was so thankful and grateful. He was almost about to choke out the words _I love you for all of that_ , but as of yet, he knew Gilbert didn't feel the same way, because he thought he had done nothing for him.

If only Matthew could see how much Gilbert was smiling at seeing him happy for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Overprotective!America! Ah, well, finally someone is noticing Canada. What a shame it would be, should that happiness disappear somehow... And, just for the record, it just happens that the day I wrote this was Canada's birthday! Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

The sun shone through the window, and as Gilbert got up, scratching his head, he realized Matthew wasn't on the bed with him. They were used to sleeping on the same bed, since they had done so, what, two or three times already? Whatever the case, Gilbert couldn't help but be a little worried until he smelled the faint aroma of pancakes coming from the kitchen. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, and after looking at the clock which read 11:34 A.M, he rushed to the kitchen.

Matthew was humming a tune to himself, wearing an apron and flipping pancakes on the stove. He gasped in complete surprise when Gilbert came up behind him and whispered "Boo" in his ear. In his astonishment, he had dropped the pan and lost balance. Gilbert, however, had good enough reflexes to grab hold of the pan and wrap an arm around Matthew's waist, keeping him in place before he fell to the floor. He grinned down at him, their noses almost brushing from how close he was to him. Matthew blushed and looked away, getting out of Gilbert's hold and beginning to make the pancakes again.

"Next time, a simple "Good Morning" would be nice." Matthew said, pouting as he continued to make the pancakes. However, his heart was hammering in his heart restlessly, and his hands were shaking while holding the pan. He only hoped the Prussian didn't notice how flustered he was at such a simple action.

However, Gilbert was still snickering behind him, at how he had jumped and yelped like a child. He assumed he was probably so into the tune or lost in thought, but when Matthew still didn't look back at him and didn't say anything after a few minutes he sighed and asked, "Alright, what, does the awesome me need to apologize now?"

"N… No." Matthew said sternly, frowning.

Gilbert stared at his pouting expression, and for some reason found himself thinking, "How cute," He quickly shook his thoughts away, a bit embarrassed at thinking that.

Then a soft giggle brought him out of his thoughts, "D-Don't worry about it." Matthew placed two pancakes in each of two separate plates. "And, plus, your strained thinking face doesn't really suit you."

The statement surprised Gilbert, since all along he thought he was a soft-spoken nation who wouldn't speak his mind. He was glad that he was finally becoming comfortable with him. "Hey! I'll get you for that!" He said, frowning although he felt like laughing.

"Oh, that right? How? You're not going to declare _war_ on me, are you?" Matthew asked, and when he turned around he had the most confident, fierce expression on his face Gilbert had ever seen. And then he remembered. How, when he was training Alfred, the American had told him the story of how Matthew was able to utterly _destroy_ him and defeat him so easily because of his fury.

"He may seem like a pushover who can't defend himself, but he only _lets_ himself get pushed around. When push comes to shove, he will _end_ you." He remembered Alfred saying. He didn't remember why Matthew had come into the conversation, but all he knew was that he really didn't want to get on his bad side either. He knew his economy and government was falling apart, and his people were starting to rebel, and everything was just going terribly, and if someone declared war on him he wouldn't be able to stand his ground. But the only person who knew that was Ludwig, and he wasn't planning on letting Matthew know that.

"You think you can take me on, Mattie?" Gilbert asked, arching an eyebrow with an arrogant smirk.

Matthew raised the mixing whisk he was holding with his hand and said, "Try me."

Gilbert grinned and lunged at him, taking him down on the floor. "I wonder…" He reached his hands down right above the Matthew's stomach, and his eyes widened.

"No," Matthew muttered.

"Yes," Gilbert said, grinning as he started to tickle the sensitive Canadian. He squirmed and laughed, playfully yelling out, "Stop!" to him.

"Do you claim defeat?" Gilbert asked, continuing to tickle him.

"Y-Ye –"

However, right when he stopped tickling him, Matthew took the chance and flipped him over, grinning childishly. "I win against powerful Prussia!"

Gilbert wasn't one to let himself be defeated, even in a childish game like this one, but seeing the huge grin on Matthew's face made him think otherwise. He grinned and said, "All right, all right, I give up! You win!"

He found himself wanting to put his hand on Matthew's cheek, to wrap his arms around him and get closer to him. He was no idiot. He knew that he did things differently whenever he was around him, like how he found himself staring whenever he smiled, how seeing him happy made him happy, how he wanted to become closer to him and spend time with him. It wasn't often that Gilbert found himself liking a guy, since usually he would have his eyes on someone like Elizabeta, but when he did, he didn't take it lightly. The problem was, he wasn't one to take action first most of the time.

And when the phone rang, he realized they had been staring at each other in that position for quite a while, and it became somewhat awkward when they realized it. Matthew was the first to get up, and he scratched his head awkwardly before going for the phone. His heart was hammering in his chest, similar to when he had sat next to him during that world meeting, and when Gilbert had leaned in for a kiss when he was drunk, and when they slept on the same bed for the second time. The butterflies in his stomach just wouldn't go away. And Matthew, oh Matthew, it wasn't often that he began liking _any_ body. He would keep to himself, never say anything out of turn, never bring attention to himself. He would only observe. And to be perfectly honest, the only person he ever really thought he liked before he met Gilbert was Seychelles, because he admired her cheerfulness and generosity, how she wasn't arrogant or too full of herself.

But when he was around her he only found himself nervous out of not wanting to say the wrong thing. He wondered if he just looked up to her, or if he just wanted to be her friend. And if he thought about it, he didn't really have any friends either up until a while ago. What was the difference between wanting to become friends with someone, and wanting to become something more with someone? Did he only want to become friends with Seychelles? Was that it? Did he want to have someone to be able to talk to on a slow Sunday afternoon and not have a definite reason to? And, the question he had been trying to avoid all along, what kind of relationship did he want to have with Gilbert? Why does he feel so secure and comfortable around him one moment, and the next an emotional wreck filled with heart pounding and cherry red cheeks? Did that mean he just wanted to become just friends with him, too? Or perhaps something _more_?

"Awesome Prussia speaking," Gilbert said, pulling Matthew out of his deep thoughts. He realized he had been thinking for much too long, and he was a bit embarrassed.

"It's for you." Gilbert said, handing the phone to him. Matthew raised a questioning eyebrow. "It's Seychelles." Gilbert informed, his tone a bit harsh and his expression too serious. _Does he not like Michelle_? Matthew thought.

"U-Uh, Michelle?" He asked, stuttering a bit out of nervousness. Gilbert narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall. He wondered why he was acting this way; he didn't have anything against Seychelles… right? But when he thought about it, his feelings of resentment towards her started when she had come over to the hotel room and said she had spent the day looking for Gilbird with Matthew. He had remembered how _he_ wanted to be the one with Matthew that day, not _her_. And the thought that Seychelles had helped him while he had only caused trouble for him really made something in his blood boil. And these feelings of resentment continued when he had overheard him talking to her on the phone in the hotel, how he sounded nervous and wanted her to come with them to the diner. It almost sounded like he was asking her out. Thinking that, he had almost punched a hole in the wall. However, he _did_ say he didn't like her that way when he brought her up in the diner.

"Yes, this is Matthew." He said. "What? In two days? Yeah! Y-Yeah, of course."

He reached for a pen on the pen holder nearby and wrote something down on a napkin. "Alright. I'll see you there, then."

Matthew placed the phone on the counter, and when he turned around he had the happiest expression on his face. "Gil, can we go to Seychelles tomorrow?"

"What? Why?"

"Her birthday is on Monday, June 29." Matthew explained. "She said she could reserve some seats for us on the airplane if we're up for it. And while over there she wants to show us some stuff! No one's ever invited me to something like this, so can we please go? The both of us!"

Gilbert decided to swallow his silly resentment towards Seychelles when he saw Matthew's pleading, cute expression, and sighed, "Yeah, sure. We _are_ coming back for your birthday, though, right?"

His grin widened, if that's even possible. "We can come back on Tuesday."

Gilbert nodded, "Then it's a plan, I guess."

Matthew let out a squeal, and hugged him, almost knocking him over.

"Gil! Gil, wake up!" Matthew yelled, shaking his shoulders. The sun wasn't even up yet, so the room remained dark.

"W-What?" Gilbert asked grumpily, putting a pillow over his head. Matthew took the pillow and placed it behind him, and got up and turned on the light, blinding him briefly. "Mattie, it's three in the morning."

"Exactly! Our flight is at four thirty! It takes thirty minutes to get to the airport! Come on, get up!" Matthew explained, nearly dragging the Prussian out of bed.

"How the hell are you so upbeat right now? You barely got five hours of sleep, didn't you?" He asked, and Matthew shrugged. Gilbert figured it was just the excitement for the upcoming day, and also the fact he was a huge morning person. Gilbert, on the other hand, was a night owl. He had completely ruined his sleeping schedule to spend more time with him.

"We have half an hour to get ready." Matthew said, grabbing some clothes from the closet and stepping over the two suitcases they had packed the day prior. "I've already made you a bowl of cereal, so all we need to do is take a shower."

"No, no, no we don't!" Gilbert said suddenly, his cheeks heating up. Matthew raised an eyebrow, confused as to why the sudden outbreak. "I-I mean, yeah, we should. But there's not enough time for the both of us, so I'll just take one at the hotel…"

There was a reason why it was getting easier for him to avoid the nightmares. Either that, or choke back his screams when he awoke from one. One reason was because now he had someone to actually dream about. His unconscious mind continued to drift to Matthew, and just now he had had a not-so-appropriate dream. He faintly remembered the water running from the shower, their bodies close together, his soaked hair sticking to his forehead, the pleasure running through his body. Just thinking back to it made his face red from embarrassment and shame, because the only other person he had had that kind of dream about was Elizabeta, and that was so long ago, when he was a tiny little growing nation and no more than a child.

"Right… Well, then, I'm going to take a quick shower and you can go ahead and eat." Matthew said, taking a towel from its hanger and stepping into the bathroom, closing the door and starting the shower.

Gilbert got up from the bed, and became immediately aware of the aftermath of that dream, both on him and on the bed. He cursed to himself at having that kind of dream featuring such an innocent, pure nation like Canada. He shook his head, and instead pulled the covers off of the bed and folded it, deciding to put it in the washing machine after getting changed. He removed his clothing and changed into another outfit, and placed the covers and his clothing into the washing machine. He went to the kitchen and found the bowl of cereal and milk Matthew had prepared for him and began to eat it. His phone beeped, and he realized Ludwig was calling him. The time at Italy was different, after all, and if you do the math it was around nine in the morning over there. Gilbert answered the phone.

"Yeah, what's up, West?" He asked, eating a spoonful of cereal.

"Whoa, what's up with you? You sound drained." Ludwig said. He heard a faint "Ve~ Ve~ Who're you talking to, Ludwig~" in the background.

"Yeah, well, it's three in the morning in America." Gilbert said, sighing as he scratched his head.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Ludwig asked. "Or… you're not drunk, are you?"

"No, West, I don't do that that often anymore." He replied. He barely ever let himself get drunk like those days, even though he still hurt everywhere with his whole country falling apart. He didn't let himself scream when he woke from nightmares, nor did he stay up too late. And it was all for Matthew. "I'm hitching a ride to Seychelles with Canada. Then I'll be back to America on Tuesday."

"You're still hanging out with _Canada_?" Ludwig asked, sounding surprised.

"You're still hanging out with Ita-chan~?" Gilbert retorted, and he could almost see Ludwig blushing.

"Yeah, well, just be careful. I'll try to come up with a way to save your government from becoming more corrupted than it already is." Ludwig said, sighing.

After Gilbert didn't answer for a while, he asked, "Brother?"

"… What's the point?" Gilbert choked out, and quickly he hung up and buried his head in his arms. He felt hot tears begin to well in his eyes at the mere remembrance that he knew it was inevitable. There was no saving him now.

"Hey? Gil?" Matthew asked, his tone a bit concerned as he walked into the dining room and had overheard.

Gilbert feigned a yawn and brought his head up from his arms, "Yeah, what is it? Sorry, I'm just pretty sleepy."

He rose from his seat and placed the bowl on the sink, starting to wash it. He had barely eaten three spoonfuls, but he had lost his appetite.

"Well, okay, but what happened to the covers?" Matthew asked, and Gilbert tensed.

"U-Uh, well, I put my clothes to wash so I thought, y-you know, why not…" He trailed off, not saying the full truth out of embarrassment.

"Alright… Well, then if you're finished eating, we should get going." Matthew said, going back to the room to get one of the suitcases.

Gilbert let out a sigh of relief, grateful that he didn't push the subject further. He went to the bathroom and washed his face before brushing his teeth, and got his own suitcase. Once both of the suitcases were in the trunk of his car, he went in the driver's seat while Matthew went in the passenger's one.

"Gil? You sure you don't want me to drive? You _did_ say you were sleepy, you know." Matthew said, concerned.

"No, I'll be fine. It's you who should be sleepy, I bet you couldn't even get any sleep from how excited you are." He guessed, and from Matthew's red cheeks he knew he was right.

After just a little while, he could hear Matthew's breathing start to become steady, and when he looked over his eyes were closed and he was leaning against the car door for comfort. Gilbert put his hand on his head and adjusted it on his own shoulder, so that Matthew was sleeping on him and not on the hard door. He smiled, and continued driving.

"Mattie, wake up." Gilbert said, shaking his shoulders. He opened his eyes faintly, and suddenly asked, "Are we there yet?"

Gilbert chuckled, "We're not even in the airplane yet, dummy. Come on, get up." He helped him up, and they checked in and got their bags checked. Once they were on the airplane preparing for takeoff, with Matthew on the window seat and Gilbert on the other, Gilbert was beginning to shiver.

"What is it? Is it too cold? I can turn off the air on top, if you want." Matthew said, about to reach for the air panels. However, Gilbert took hold of his hand.

"N… No. I just, uh…" He stammered, putting his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. "It's nothing, forget it."

"Gil, you're not scared of flying, are you?" Matthew asked, his tone soft.

"N-No, of course n-not… What gave you that idea…?" He stammered, and when the airplane began to go on the runaway he began to start breathing quickly.

"But, Gil, don't you have to fly to and from Prussia for World Meetings? Shouldn't you be over this kind of fear?" Matthew asked, but when Gilbert continued to shiver he knew he was serious.

"Alright, alright, well, why don't you just calm down?" Matthew soothed, trying to help.

"Why don't you just shut up?" Gilbert snapped unintentionally, but when he saw Matthew's surprised expression he quickly apologized. Flight really put him on edge.

When the airplane took off, he held Matthew's hand so tight that Matthew thought he almost broke it.

Matthew, however, squeezed his hand and said, "It'll be okay."

It was true that Gilbert always had a natural phobia of flying, though it was nothing serious and it was anything but evident when he flew, but that fear had grown ever since his nightmares of dying had started. One way or another, he had always died in his dreams. And, of course, there just had to be one where he was in an airplane, and the plane crashed, except in his dream the plane represented his economy, government, and society. And since then, things like this struck him with fear.

He shook his thoughts away, and instead tried to relax and calm his nerves. "So, uh, how long is this plane ride?"

"18 hours…" Matthew replied, and Gilbert sighed.

Sooner or later, they had both fallen asleep; Matthew was still holding his hand, and he was leaning on Gilbert's shoulder while Gilbert was leaning on Matthew's head.

Matthew was the first to wake up, and seeing the position he was in he couldn't help but blush. He looked at the time on his phone and realized it was nearing ten in the morning. He was still somewhat tired but he couldn't help being a morning person. He turned on the television on the back of the chair in front of him and changed the channel to one where they were giving Canadian hockey. Gilbert's hand found Matthew's again, even while he was sleeping, and Matthew wasn't one to pull away. Even as he was blushing, he intertwined his hand with Gilbert's and continued watching.

"And can I get anything for you two lovebirds?" A female Flight Attendant asked, bringing forward a cart full of all kinds of snacks and drinks.

"Oh, no – We're not – You see –" Matthew stammered, flustered. He sighed, dismissing it. "Do you have coffee?"

"Indeed I do," The lady poured him a cup of coffee and handed him small bags of sugar along with other essentials and continued on her way.

He couldn't help but continue to blush even after a little while; _Why did she have to refer to us that way? We're friends, nothing more… Right?_

And finally, he was able to shake those thoughts away and continue watching Canadian hockey. He hoped to one day bring Gilbert with him to his country whenever it was snowing, so he could show him how to play hockey and go skiing with him.

"Mattie?" Gilbert asked from beside him, and he took away his hand from his and stretched his arms, yawning. Matthew was a bit saddened at the lack of contact. "Are we there? How much longer till we are?"

"It's noon, so about ten hours." Matthew answered. "It'll be six in the morning in Seychelles when we get there, but American time zone speaking probably nine or ten in the evening."

Gilbert sighed, "That's just great."

He realized there was a television in front of him, but looked over at what Matthew was watching. He saw people playing hockey. "I've never played hockey before. Is it that interesting?"

Matthew's eyes began to shine like several times before, and very excitedly he began explaining the basics of hockey and how to play, "I want to take you to my country one day, when it's snowing! Then we could play together! Oh, won't that be nice?"

Gilbert grinned, though still a bit saddened, "Yeah, of course. If we have enough time."

"Enough time? What do you mean?"

Gilbert shook his head, dismissing the topic. But he could almost hear his clock ticking away inside his head, ticking and tocking until it eventually comes to a halt–and when it stops, so will he.

It was an understatement to say he was terrified.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Matthew! Gilbert!" Michelle yelled cheerfully, running up to the two boys who were carrying two suitcases and looking around with a confused expression.  
They had arrived to the beautiful country Seychelles just minutes prior, and the sun was shining brightly onto the large terrain and the birds were chirping seemingly happily.

"You two made it!" She chirped, smiling sheepishly as she hugged them both at the same time. Matthew returned the hug gracefully, though Gilbert patted her back a bit awkwardly.

Matthew was awed by her beauty; her tawny beige natural skin contrasted with her azure A-line dress that almost reached her knees and had alabaster flowers scattered around the outer bottom, and when she looked at them there was an excited sparkle in her blue eyes. Her auburn hair was tied into pigtails with two bright red ribbons.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world," He said, returning the smile.

"You two can stay with Juliet and I at my place, but there isn't much room," She explained, smiling apologetically. She lived in a small cabin to be near the beaches and parks, after all, and with Monaco also visiting there just wasn't enough space. "You can stay at a hotel near there, though, it's called Roseshore Hotel. It's near Silhouette Island, which has a really great beach we can all visit for the day!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Matthew said, the eagerness evident in his voice.

Once at the hotel, he decides to bring up what he had been wondering, "You've been pretty quiet, Gilbert. Is something wrong?"

"No." He answered, and he knew he was just being stubborn. He knew he had developed somewhat of a thing for the Canadian, and that because of that he was prone to jealousy. But he decided to put that aside, I'm way more awesome than that Seychelles girl, right? But the more he repeated that statement in his head, the more he doubted himself. "Let's just get what we need for the beach and then we can be on our way."

Once they arrived at Silhouette Island, they met up with Michelle and Juliet. All four of them were wearing their bathing suits – Gilbert wore an alabaster swimming trunk that reached his knees without a shirt, and Matthew wore one similar, except it was a pastel orange color, and he wore a blank t-shirt. The girls both wore beautiful bathing suits, Michelle wearing a baby blue bikini and Monaco wearing a red and white polka-dot one piece.

"Well, I never really said it but, happy birthday!" Matthew squeaked, beaming as he handed her a bright, amethyst iris he had picked along the way. Gilbert sent him a questioning glance, though Matthew wasn't sure what he was questioning exactly.

"Oh, thank you!" Michelle said, placing the flower on her ear.

Gilbert smiled slightly and also wished her a happy birthday, though it didn't sound too heartfelt to Matthew. It sounded almost forced to him, but nevertheless Michelle didn't mind as she had hugged him anyway.

"Well, uh, I can setup a few chairs, umbrellas, and blankets so we can relax at the beach for a while, before we go to Morne Seychellois National Park." Michelle volunteered, about to head towards the blistering sand.

"Ah, yes, and Prussia and I can go ahead and get the drinks and snacks." Juliet offered, though she quickly took Gilbert's hand and lead him toward the stand not too far away.

"What, are you into me or something? Sorry, I know how hard it is to resist this awesomeness, but I already have eyes for someone else, Monaco." Gilbert boasted, holding back his hair as if to emphasize. Although this action and statement was only to keep his reputation, he still couldn't help but feel a bit… disgusted with himself. He was falling apart gradually yet he still had the nerve to act like such an egoistic person.

"No, of course I don't. Why would I fall for such an abomination?" Juliet spat bluntly, shaking her head. That statement hurt him, but he decided to just shake the emotion away.

"Well, awesome me doesn't like you, anyway." Gilbert muttered, not wanting his emotions to show. He was about to walk away until Juliet took hold of his wrist again.

"Listen, I hate being alone with you as much as you do with me, but I think Michelle and Canada have a thing going on. I see a spark." Monaco said, nodding to herself after letting go of his wrist.

"What?" Gilbert choked out, feeling some indescribable feeling well up inside him. He knew what she was saying, but he just didn't want to believe it.  
"I'm matching them up," Juliet said, pushing up her glasses. "Do I have to spell it out for you?”

"No, you can't do that!" Gilbert blurted out all of a sudden. 

"What? Why not?"

"Because I say so! You just… you can't!" Gilbert bawled, furrowing his brows and clenching his fist as he almost hissed at the blonde.

Juliet glared at him and raged, "I don't have to take orders from anyone, and especially not from you. Unless you give me a valid reason, I see no reason not to match them up. They're perfect together, don't you see? They're both kind and passionate, and if they got together it would be perfect."

"But…" Gilbert trailed off, as he began seeing some kind of reasoning in what she saying. He gained his composure again and said, "I won't believe anything until I see it."

By this point, he knew. He knew how he felt about Matthew. There was no going back.

But when he went towards Matthew and Michelle carrying two drinks, who were setting up the umbrella, he began to see what Monaco was saying. Even appearance-wise, they looked great together. He tried to contradict those thoughts, tried to tell himself that his awesome self could take Matthew’s heart no problem. But then Michelle tripped on the umbrella pole wedged on the ground and fell on Matthew, and they stayed in that position staring into each other's eyes, and Prussia lost it. He felt a lump in his throat, and his knees begin to wobble, and he found himself turning around, and with his wobbly hands he set down the two drinks he was holding on the table they had set up and he walked away. He wasn't one to make a scene, so before he left he muttered something about having to use the bathroom to Juliet.

She stared as he walked away, confused as to why he was acting kind of strangely after the scene unfolding before them. But when she looked back at Matthew and Michelle, she saw Matthew awkwardly scratching his head and apologizing to Michelle.

He cleared his throat, "Uh, Monaco, where's Gil?"

"He said he needed to use the lavatory." Juliet said, shrugging.

Matthew thought that was a bit weird for several reasons – one, he had used the restroom before they came to the beach, and second he wasn't one to just bail out on events firsthand. However, maybe he really did just have to use the bathroom, so he decided to let it go.

He sat down on the lounge chair with Michelle and Juliet and let the sun hit his skin. He couldn't deny that it felt relaxing as he took small sips of his Afterglow tropical drink.

"So, Matthew, have you made any moves on Gilbert yet?" Michelle cooed, laughing as he spit his drink out and almost choked.

"What?!" Juliet yelled, astonished completely.

"No, no, of course not! I-It's not like that!" Matthew stammered, a slight dust of pink appearing on his face as he shifted his weight from side to side.

"It's so nice to see love blooming in the comfort of my own country!" Michelle purred, holding her hands together as she fawned over the "blooming love".

"Michelle, what could you possibly mean by that? You don't mean –" Juliet said, wide eyed as she stared at Matthew and thought back to the Prussian's weird behavior. She then completely understood why he was acting that way, and she mentally slapped herself.

"Oh, yes." Michelle said a bit teasingly, looking at Matthew once again to see him scratching his head and avoiding direct eye contact.

He stood up, shifting his weight again, and said, "Gil's been gone for a while now, I think I'll go check on him."

Yes, he was indeed worried, but it was also a great excuse to get out of that embarrassing confrontation. He knew he felt a bit different around the Prussian than with other people, but did that necessarily mean he liked him? What was the definition of "liking" someone? 

"Juliet, why do you look so nervous too?" Michelle asked, seeing as Monaco was avoiding eye contact.

"I maybe, sort of, told Prussia that you and Canada liked each other, and, uh…" Juliet trailed off, ashamed at her false accusation.

"Of course that's not the case!" Michelle cried, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing before smiling softly. "Oh well, I'm sure nothing can stop them. And besides, I've got my eyes set for someone else."

Michelle winked playfully, and Juliet pouted and crossed her arms.  
________________________________________  
Matthew had looked in the boys' restroom and hadn't found Gilbert, so he began to panic a bit. _Why would he leave without saying anything? What if… Maybe he doesn't want to hang around with me anymore?_

He shook those thoughts away and instead began looking for him. He walked into a path surrounded by trees and nature that wasn't too far from the restroom. Matthew thought that maybe Gilbert just wanted to take a walk, so he went down that path looking for him. Then, if he didn't find him there he would go back to the hotel room and see if he was there. And if that failed too, he would go back to Seychelles and Monaco and worry.

And then he decided it would be best to let Seychelles know he went looking for Gilbert, but when he took out his phone he realized he had no service there, so instead he decided to go back and let her know before doing anything. Then he realized he had walked too far off and walked through one or two fork paths. And that's when it hit him – he was lost. With no signal or any way to reach anyone. Matthew sighed, and instead began to walk again, yelling out Gilbert name and hoping maybe he was here and would know his way back.

After half an hour of walking around in a clueless manner, Matthew sighed and sat down on a log. He knew he should have come with Seychelles so that he wouldn't get lost, yet here he was.

He heard a few distinct voices not too far from him, and steps approaching him, and he hoped it was nice people who would show him his way back. But what showed was two gruff, intimidating young adult males. When they laid eyes on Matthew, their expressions suddenly toughened.

"U-Um, do you know a way back to the beach from here?" Matthew stammered, averting his eyes and fiddling his fingers out of nervousness.

"Hey, you're that damn American from before!" One of them stormed, seemingly remembering some sort of a previous occurrence.

"Yeah! The one that took our wallets and trashed our things!" The other raged, furious as he cracked his knuckles. He picked up Matthew by the collar harshly and brought him close to him.  
"N-No, t-that wasn't me!" Matthew squeaked, the color draining from his face as he began to sweat and tremble, and he let out a whimper when the other man threw a punch. He closed his eyes, but he still felt that terribly hard impact of the man's fist crashing on his eye.

"P-Please, stop!" Matthew pleaded, but he knew he could defend himself. He knew he could beat those two men in a matter of time if he wanted to; yet he didn't. And that was because he was a peaceful country, he made a vow to himself that violence is rarely ever the answer, and that it was better to be hurt than to hurt others.

"After what you did to us? No way, you damn American. That's bullshit." The other man spit, and everything else was a blur after that; he only felt the pain of taking a beating and the taste of his hot tears after they beaded down his cheeks and into his whimpering mouth. And when they left, he slowly tried to get up. He wiped his tears away completely, and with a bruised, aching body, he slowly limped towards who knows where, hoping he would reach somewhere with people who didn't have a grudge against his brother. With only one eye he was able to keep open, his vision was halved and a bit blurry.

"Matt? Mattie!" He heard Gilbert cry out. He lost his balance with his limping leg and fell into the Prussian's embrace. "Matt, what happened?! Are you okay?"

"P-Perfectly fine," Matthew said, trying to get out of his hold. "I-I'm okay, alright… I can walk on my own…"

"No, you can't!" Gilbert almost growled, startling the Canadian. He picked him up quickly, and carried him inside Michelle’s cabin hurriedly, placing him on a bed. Matthew didn't know half the things that was going on, all he knew is that he was delirious and couldn't think straight, and that he saw Gilbert, Monaco, and Seychelles zooming around the room, wrapping things around some of his limbs, placing something on his eye, and putting something in his mouth. And when he finally did feel better after taking a small nap, he awoke to find Gilbert there, flipping through a magazine on a chair next to his bed.

"Oh, Mattie, you're up." Gilbert said, averting his attention from the magazine. "How are you feeling?"

Suddenly Matthew felt a lump in his throat, and he clenched the blanket on him and mumbled, "I can never do anything right."

"What? What're you talking about, Matt?" He asked.  
"I… I can't do anything right!" Matthew yelled, bursting into tears unintentionally as Prussia's expression softened and he immediately brought Matthew into a hug.

"No, Mattie, this incident has nothing to do with you. It wasn't your fault. It was my fault, okay? Don't go blaming yourself." Gilbert tried to comfort him, though comforting wasn't his cup of tea. He wasn't lying, though, he thought that this incident was the result of his foolishness.

"No, stop!" Matthew yelled, pushing him away. "W-When I screwed up at the world meeting, lost Gilbird a-and got hypothermia, a-and now I-I got lost, a-and beaten... You've had to clean up all of my messes a-and I just… Why can I n-never do anything right?"

Gilbert took hold of his shoulders and made him look at him straight in his eyes, "Mattie, stop talking like that. Everyone screws up at world meetings. It wasn't anyone's fault for that Gilbird incident; it was an honest mistake, right? I don't clean up your messes, Matt. I help you. There's a difference. And you've helped me so many times.” He hugged him once more, and when he calmed down he pulled away.

"So, you hungry? It's eleven in the morning, and you haven't eaten anything since the airplane ride." He said, sighing.

Matthew tried to get up, but Gilbert quickly went over there and helped him, "Hey, I know you're a country and you heal fast but you still have to take it easy."

It was true; healing when it came to countries was based on how well their government, economy, and society was going, and Matthew’s country was going very well. So it would take two to four hours, give or take, to heal all those bruises that would normally take ten or eleven hours to heal.

Matthew felt a faint aching on his leg and stomach, and when he looked in the mirror he saw an eyepatch covering his left eye. He giggled a bit and said, "Hey, look, Gilbert, I'm the one-eyed ghoul!" He made a growling sound and held out his hand as in an attacking way, though in doing this his glasses fell off.

Gilbert chuckled, and took his hand after catching his glasses, "Alright, you comedian, you should get another hour of rest before we go anywhere again." He said, placing the glasses back on Matthew’s eyes.

Matthew sighed and nodded, sitting back down on the bed after using the bathroom.  
"So, Mattie, what happened?" Gilbert asked, trying not to let the anger towards whoever did this to him get the better of him.

"U-Um, two guys… They were angry at me." Matthew answered, though he was trying not to let Gilbert know that it was because of his brother that this happened, because he knew that there was some sort of tension between Gilbert and the Alfred and he didn't want to make it worse.

"Alright… _Why_?" Gilbert asked, narrowing his eyes as he knew Matthew was trying to hide something because of the way he averted his eyes and fidgeted.  
Matthew didn't answer and only continued to fidget, so Gilbert repeated his question with a more serious tone. "Matt, so help me, I will tickle it out of you if I have to."

"Alright, alright!" Matthew said, giving in also because he knew Gilbert wouldn't let it go. "They… They thought I was someone else."

"Okay. Who?" Gilbert questioned. He was hoping that Matthew wouldn't say Alfred name, because if he did he knew he would just lose it whenever he was around the American again.

"A… Alfred…" Matthew muttered, barely loud enough for Gilbert to hear. He began to shift his eight from side to side, and Gilbert noticeably became furious. "Uh, no, Gil, it's not his fault! I just… look too much like him… And…"

"No, Matt, it _is_ his fault. He should know not to get himself into trouble if you might have to pay for it. That damn American." Gilbert growled, balling his hand into a fist.

Matthew took hold of his fist and said softly, "He never means for these things to happen. It's not really his fault."

Gilbert shoved his hand away from him, letting his anger get the better of him as he yelled, "He never means for these things to happen, but they do, Matt! Why don't you just stand up to him?! Why didn't you stand up to those guys who beat you up?!"

"I know, it's my fault…" Matthew muttered, looking down at his feet only to feel the lump in his throat again.

Gilbert sighed, and tried to let his anger fade away for the moment, "Mattie, you know that's not true. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so foolish… But when I saw you and Seychelles, I don't know, I just…"  
"You didn't want to hang out with me anymore, right?" Matthew asked, almost in a whisper from how much he didn't want it to be true. He knew now that he didn't like Michelle like that, but when it came to Gilbert… He did like him, didn't he? But he saw now that Gilbert didn't feel the same way.

"That's… not true. I like hanging out with you, I do. And I… I like you, Mattie." Gilbert said softly, placing his hand on Matthew’s cheek as he looked at him. He had known for a while now that he had had romantic feelings towards the Canadian, but he assumed that Matthew only liked him as a friend.

"But your like isn't the same as mine, is it?" Matthew finished, staring into Gilbert’s eyes apologetically. Matthew thought he was being a burden to him ever since they met, and though he said he was willing to help him he figured that Gilbert didn't like him in a romantic way.

"I… guess not." Gilbert answered, taking his hand away from him. "But… allow me this." He leaned in and planted a kiss on Matthew’s cheek, and turned for the door.

"Seychelles and Monaco are waiting for us at the beach. Come when you're ready." Gilbert stated, though his voice sounded strained and out of life.

When he left, all that was left for Matthew was an empty feeling. He let his hand touch where Gilbert had kissed him. He wanted to feel it again. He figured he had made their relationship awkward now, as Gilbert was probably heterosexual, and he had just told him he liked him romantically. Gilbert had probably kissed his cheek out of pity. Matthew felt a tear run down his cheek, but he wiped it away and went to the bathroom.

He took off all the bandages and such and the eye patch, though his eye was still somewhat bruised. They had really hit him hard. He sighed and headed for the beach, where he found the lounge chairs empty. He saw Michelle and Juliet in the ocean, but Gilbert was nowhere in sight.

_I can never do anything right…_ Matthew thought to himself, and as he sat by himself on that lounge chair he felt something hot and wet run down his cheeks, and when he took off his glasses to wipe it away he couldn't remember when he had started to weep.

Quickly, he stopped himself, because if anyone saw him he would be done for. He drank his tropical drink and closed his eyes after putting on his sunglasses, just in case his eyes were still red.  
________________________________________  
"Hey, Mattie!" Gilbert said, taking off the sunglasses from his face. "Why don't you come join us?"

The sunlight blinded him momentarily; he saw Gilbert smiling weakly down at him, but Matthew knew it wasn't a real smile. He was only acting this way because Michelle and Juliet were around.

"Sorry, I was just tired." Matthew lied, smiling apologetically. He stole a glance at Gilbert, and noticed that there was a faint stain of blood on his hand. He wondered what happened.

"Are you okay? Are you sure you're up for a long walk in that national park?" Michelle asked, a concerned expression on her face.

No, I'm not. Matthew thought to himself, stealing another glance towards Gilbert, who was avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah, of course." Matthew said, smiling. Although they went on the tour in the National Park and went to many little restaurants, and did fun things together for the rest of the day, Matthew felt empty. Gilbert wasn't acting like himself, but neither was he.

When they both returned to the hotel, they didn't converse much, other than asking the other to pass something to them. Matthew did ask Gilbert what was up with the blood on his hand, but Gilbert only responded with "I had to do what I had to." More or less, that meant he had to hurt those who hurt Matthew.

When Matthew went to sleep, Kumajirou snuggled in close, as if he knew something was wrong. Matthew wasn't sure whether Gilbert went to sleep at all, because when he awoke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, he saw Gilbert reading a book with a little reading light. He didn't know Gilbert even liked reading, but if he was up this late, did that mean he had had another nightmare?

Matthew didn't ask, and instead went back to sleep. The only thought that continued to pass his mind was,

_It wasn't supposed to turn out this way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually got that whole misunderstanding idea from a shoujo anime somewhere. Things actually get worse from here. Just so you know, in this fanfiction Prussia is bisexual and Canada is pansexual. And what did Seychelles mean when she said she has eyes for someone else? Yeah, she’s totally gay for Monaco. I know Monaco was being a little rude in this chapter but, still, she means well so send her some love.


End file.
